So, I’m going through a tough time right now. I won’t go into what my particular challenge is during this blog post, but suffice it to say I am learning a great lesson.
And sometimes learning BLOWS. It can really shake you at your core, make you question all that you know to be true.
In times of challenge, my mind is in overdrive. It takes everything I have to stop, focus, meditate, do yoga. Then I remember that I’m a wife and a mother and a coach … and my job is to be PRESENT for my family and my clients. So I deal with my stuff when I can … and show up for the important people in my life. But I won’t lie … it’s not always easy. Often it’s really, really hard.
The monkey mind doesn’t want to be quiet. It’s my job to tame it.
It’s a process.
What helps me through the process? Signs.
Yes, I’ve been keeping my eyes open for signs to keep me committed to my path.
One sign I saw today? A poem in my son’s room that has served me so well in times of struggle. This poem hangs on a magnetic board in his bedroom … and today it caught my eye at just the right time.
“Tread in solitude your pathway
Quiet heart and undismayed
You will know things strange, mysterious
Which to you no voice has said
While the crowd of petty hustlers
Grasps at vain and meager things
You will see a great world rising
Where soft, sacred music rings
Leave the dusty road to others,
Spotless keep your soul and bright
As the radiant ocean’s surface
When the sun is taking flight.”
Love that. Thank you to V. Schoffel for writing such poignant, fitting words.
After I saw that poem, I carried on my way … and received another sign that spoke to exactly what I was experiencing. I keep meditation cards in my bedroom (they are really cool). Each card has a picture of a buddha, deity or bodhisattva on it with a message on the back. My card today? Dorje Drolo (pictured above). The message is awesome. I now love Dorje Drolo.
Here is what his card says about him. What a guy …
“Dorje Drolo portrays a wrathful form of Padmasambhava as a demon subduer. He rides upon a pregnant tigress that symbolizes the strength and knowledge that are latent in everybody.
Padmasambhava took this form in order to subdue the demons that were troubling the people of Tibet. Mounted on the back of his consort, who had transformed herself into a flying tigress, he appeared in a place called the Tiger’s Lair.
Before leaving Tibet he buried a number of teachings that will be discovered at a time when the world is in need of revelation.”
The tip on the card: “At the start of a sneeze, during fright, in anxiety, in extreme curiosity, in hunger – be uninterruptedly aware.”
Hope that’s as helpful for you as it is for me.
Another tool I find SO crucial in getting me through tough times is remembering that I am seeing things exactly as they are. I can assign any value to a situation that I like. If I feel free, I am free. If I feel bound, I am bound. It’s up to me to decide. Love that. Reminds you that you’re in control. (Thanks to my fabulous meditation teacher Jason Lamberth for giving me these tools. Here’s a cool video via Jonathan Fields’s Career Renegade TV on the awesomeness that is Jason.)
My final action for getting unstuck? Writing. Getting my thoughts out on paper. It’s really cathartic. So thanks to YOU for allowing me to share, connect, grow, be. You have no idea how much it means to me.
Now I’m curious … what helps you through the dark moments? Share your comments here. Let’s help each other out.
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When faced w/ a struggle, I ask myself: “how does this impact the grand scheme of my life?” I often find that the things I may first perceive as challenges are truly just insignificant bumps in the road. Good luck Miss Zen!!
more recently, i find myself taking a deep breath and going to pick up my 4 month old son. looking into his eyes, i see pure joy and the trust he has in me. the feeling i get instantly clears my head and makes me think of all i have in this world and all that i am capable of. the happiness i feel from him trumps all and then i feel i can regroup and take on my challenges.
thanks for the post jenny!
I turn on my worship music and sing at the top of my lungs praises to God. I sing from my heart, until my heart cries. I let the tears flow and the catabolic energy release. After that, I feel better. Sometimes I just ride it out because I know it’s temporary.
@Shelley: Love your magic question. Gets to the heart of the matter … fast.
@Kelly: Oh ya, babies have the answers in their eyes. They are so true, so pure, so real. Can’t believe your little one is almost 4 months. Time flies, right?
@Lori: Worship music rocks. Anything that can get you out of our head and into your heart … so powerful.
Lately, instead of constantly worrying about things I grab my son up into my arms and we for hours play in his room. Nothing is more fullfilling to me than letting him hold onto to me while we roll around on the floor singing,reading, dancing,playing instruments. The house stays a mess and that’s OK!
@Jenny Payton: Love this. It’s amazing at how kids can teach us what’s important. They get it. Us adults so often make it complicated! Let’s keep the inner child alive in all of us …
First, I breathe. Second, I usually pick up the phone to call a friend. Third, I put down the phone and remember that sometimes, much of the time, the answer has to come from me anyway. Fourth, I sit. Just sit still. I listen. I try that whole “breathing” thing again. Fifth, I recall that pain and challenges are usually teachers, and are always temporary… that the real way out is to practice riding the wave of up and down. And, finally, if I don’t remember to do any of that and I, instead, throw a pity party for myself or I’m unproductive for 3 days or I indulge in some other regression, I go to one of my go-to sayings: “I am an imperfect person.” Darkness never wins with those rules. Hang in there!
@Kelly – Fantastic insights! You are a wise woman and I’m lucky to have a friend in you. Stay tuned for future post … a solution has been found and the challenge is behind me. Phew. xoxo
I just love this. At this moment, so many are faced with various levels of difficulty. When I look back at past challenges or bumps in my life, I do realize that these were moments of connection, thought, and yes… growth. And yes, in the heat of the moment it does “blow”, but then one may come across a beautiful post like this… and suddenly reconnect on a new level. Thanks Jenny. I needed this!
@Virginia – You are such a wise woman … and one who has been through her fair share of adversity. Lessons can certainly “hurt” when we’re learning them … it’s the beauty of being able to look back when we realize what THAT was all about. Ahh … life. xoxo