It’s been a while since I’ve blogged … but for good reason. I’m going through a HUGE shift … which means it probably would have been REALLY helpful if I would have been blogging. I’ve learned that my style of processing is to go INSIDE while I’m in a state of transition, of looking for answers. Once I get “to the other side,” I share my insights through writing, blogging, journaling. It’s my way and I’m cool with that.
So what’s the shift? Where I’m supposed to live. To some people this isn’t a big deal. To me, this is huge. It’s big for my husband Steven, too.
We both had this HUGE epiphany about where our HOME is after a recent couples retreat at Kripalu in the Berkshires. After spending time in the beauty of Western Massachusetts, our truth emerged: THIS is where we’re supposed to live right now. That means our time in the bright lights of New York City is coming to a close. Steven has been a Manhattanite for more than 2 decades, and I’ve been living there (by way of Florida) for 11 years. We love our city deeply, but it’s time to move on.
We had been thinking about where we want to live once we leave NYC for years. Now that we have a son (and 3 cats!), our desire for more space and a different kind of life has increased. We looked at plenty of towns outside of Manhattan, but nothing ever felt quite right to us. Until now.
What tipped us over the edge? Asking for clarity at the retreat. We went through a powerful exercise called an Empathy Labryinth (a picture is included here) where we individually posed the question: “Where do we want to put down roots?”
The purpose of the labyrinth is to get to the heart of these questions: “What are you REALLY feeling and needing? What’s alive in you?”
As we walked the labyrinth and completed the introspective exercise, all of our fears about moving and change came bubbling up for us. The “what if’s” (what if we hate our new town, what if we’re terrible home owners, what if we regret leaving NYC, what if there aren’t any good restaurants, what if I become a Stepford Wife, what if he is bored) came rearing their ugly heads. That’s what change can do … FREAK YOU OUT.
But then something beautiful happened … we let go and just let the answers come. AND THEY DID … QUICKLY. We received so many powerful messages and gifts over the next week that led us to our decision: we would return to the area where we married 5 years earlier and have been vacationing even longer. It has always felt like “home” to us … and now it will be where our family hunkers down for as long as feels “right.” How long “right” is only time will tell and I’m okay with that. I’m at peace.
It’s official: I’m trading in skyscrapers for mountains at the end of the summer.
A client recently asked me if I’m scared. HECK YA! Fear and change go hand in hand. But I won’t let the fear paralyze me (on most days!) … I will learn to face the strain of change with grace and courage.
“Things do not change; we change.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
So many people in my life are facing change now too … some self-initiated, some thrust on them by outside forces (seemingly so anyway). One of my clients who was recently laid off told me she is “learning to surf this tsunami.” Powerful concept.
Change is an experience that you can’t avoid (although we often want to run from it like the plague). The actual process of change can cut you to the core, really rock your foundation. It’s okay. It’s what makes you stronger. It’s what makes you real, genuine, you.
I encourage you to think about how you have changed recently. Are you embracing all that you are RIGHT NOW? Are you holding on to people, places or things that don’t fit you anymore? Are you drowning in a sea of “what ifs”?
Feel free to share your story with me in the “comments” section below. I’d love to hear from you and support you on your journey.
Be strong, be bold, be courageous. Be the change. You are powerful beyond measure.