Sparkly Circles of Support: The Antidote to Meanies

I wear a hot pink sparkly bracelet around my wrist. It’s there to show my support for my friend Nikki. I got this pretty piece of string at the Blessing Ceremony in celebration of Nikki and the baby in her belly. Twenty of Nikki’s friends came together to shower her with love and let her know we’ve got her back during labor, childbirth and beyond.

The wrist binding ritual is awesome. Basically, the pregnant mama of honor wraps the yarn around her wrist a few times, then passes the ball of yarn to the woman next to her who continues the tradition. By the end, all of the women are connected by the string, signifying the ties that bind us all together. You then tear the string apart with your teeth (or scissors!) and tie a knot with the loose ends of the string around your wrist. You wear that bracelet in solidarity until the pregnant mama welcomes her baby into the world.

My friends did the same thing for me when I was pregnant with my second son Luke. Tearing the string off my wrist the day my angel was born felt primal, celebratory and intensely gratifying. I’ll treasure my piece of yarn from my Blessing Ceremony for the rest of my life.

There’s something spectacular about women supporting women. Special. Magnificent. Holy.

I remember a time when I didn’t have a lot of gals supporting me. Ya, girls can be brutal. Talk behind your back. Call you names. Make up lies about you. Egg your house. Steal your boyfriend (why did we always tend to blame the girl rather than our “boyfriend?” Odd!). Tear you down. You name it.

As a freshman in high school, these mean girls were the seniors. These older gals were not big fans of ours because the senior boys were. Freshmen = “fresh meat.” Ah – to be young and clueless!

Well, these seniors gals made it known we were in enemy territory.  And although I didn’t let them stop me from being me, I used to cry about these mean girls. Of course, I’m sure I was a meanie at times, too. I wasn’t perfect.

But I didn’t like being mean because of this fact: meanies suck.

As I grew up and matured, I learned to surround myself with people who loved me for me, supported me fully and were genuinely happy for me when things went well in my life. The more I was around this positive energy, the easier it was for me to be the positive person I truly am. By embracing this light, more and more wonderful people, places and things keep falling into my lap. How cool is that?

Now, that’s not to say the meanies don’t creep up now and again. These meanies look innocent at first. But it’s only a matter of time before you see their true nature emerge. Watch out. Protect yourself from those who don’t have your best interests at heart. You know what I mean. Don’t allow yourself to be a punching bag.

I’ve had to walk away from relationships that started off strong, but became full of drama and darkness. It’s tough, but necessary. I don’t wish these people any harm. Nope. What would be the point of that? I wish them well. I just know that we’re not a match. They have their journey and I have mine.

You only have room in your life for people who bring you UP, who make you feel good about yourself, who make you soar.

This, my friend, is the magic of being a woman. It’s about embracing the feminine gift of connection, collaboration, partnership and magic.

It’s about creating circles of support so strong that no one, no thing, no challenge will bring you down. Get it?

Circles have no beginning, no end. They are special in that regard. They go round and round, perfect in their intention of infinite growth, infinite potential. No harsh edges, no stifling boxes. Just a flowy, organic shape ready to hold your magical wishes, heart-felt hopes, and deepest desires.

I love circles. Love what they represent. Love the juice you can squeeze from them. Yes, there’s a reason I chose a Zen circle for my company logo … to embody this infiniteness and the peace that lives within us all.

That’s why I’m so passionate about creating movements for gutsy gals to come together in sparkly circles of support to blaze through obstacles, lift roadblocks and celebrate crazy-cool successes.

I did it when I created a series of moms support groups in New York City. I do this now with my fab private clients. And I’m doing it again with the Retreat for Goddesses this summer. Ya, it’s my thing … because it WORKS and it feels damn good.

Buh-bye mean girls, staying trapped in your box.

Hello, wonder women, let’s rock and roll. See ya in the circle.

Here are 5 tips of how YOU can bring more support into your life …

1.     Look for opportunities to bring women together: Women LOVE connecting. They love organizing around a common theme. If you want more support in your life, find a women’s group to join or start! Throw a party or event. Moms groups, martini nights, book clubs, cooking classes, dance parties, networking groups – you name it – are all amazing experiences for women.

2.     Silence the inner critic: Do you ever have that pesky voice creep up into your head to tell you in one form or another … “you’re not good enough”? Ya, we’ve all been there. You’re about to start something new, embark on an exciting adventure or blaze a renegade trail and then, all of the sudden, the doubts, fears and critics (inner and outer) rain on your parade. Annoying, right? The goal of the inner critic, Gremlin, whip (whatever you want to call it) is to keep you small, keep you scared, keep you in a tiny, tiny box. It’s completely uncool … and it’s up to YOU to stop this pesky thief from robbing you of your life and your magic! I’ve seen a lot of gals (me included!) get bamboozled by this villain and I want to help. So I’m hosting  a free call next week on this very topic. Get more details and reserve your spot here.

3.     You’re a big girl now … don’t be a meanie: If you have an issue with someone, take it up with them. Resist the temptation to talk behind someone’s back or spread gossip. It’s lame and hurtful. You wouldn’t want someone doing it to you so don’t do it yourself. Cool?

4.     Be vulnerable: It’s okay to admit when you’re feeling down, overwhelmed or pissed. Part of connecting with women who bring you up is admitting to when you feel down or all over the place. You don’t have to put on a show. Getting and giving support is about being real. Yup, real = real good. Just don’t be a downer all the time. If you’re feeling that bad everyday, do yourself a favor and get professional help. It’s okay, girl. My life became exponentially better once I committed to working with a therapist to make sense of my life and let go my baggage (it was TOO heavy!). I’ll always be grateful to Dr. Rich!

5.     Adopt a red velvet rope policy: Guard entry to your inner circle the way a doorman guards access to the hottest club in New York City … with vigilance! Only let people into your world who fully support you and have your back. Trust me, this idea will change your life.

**What are you favorite ways to get and give support? Share in the comments section below. See ya there!**

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