2011 is fast approaching. Yup, a new year is almost here. I can just feel the fresh energy in the air, the new opportunities ripe for creation. I love this time of year. How about you?

The way I celebrate the shift from the old to the new has changed a lot through the years.

In my younger days, I was chasing fun, chasing a good time. Sometimes, this worked out pretty well. Sometimes, it was a disaster. Typically, I paid the price the next day in the form of a hangover. I learned as I got older that my body wasn’t a big fan of alcohol. All the partying I did in my teens and 20s just eventually caught up with me. It took me a long while to accept this, but I eventually made peace with what was healthiest for me.

My BEST New Years Eve to date was two years ago. I was fully sober, fully awake and QUIET (it was the antithesis of so many other NYE’s from my past). That year, I was 9 months pregnant and decided to attend a NYE celebration at an awesome yoga studio in New York City called Jivamukti. One of my clients joined me. My husband was traveling on business (he works in sports television and travels a lot on holidays so I’ve learned how to entertain myself and learned how to really enjoy being alone).

This evening started pretty early – around 6 p.m. I think. We had a 2-hour yoga class led by yoga gurus Sharon Life and David Gannon. If you’re into yoga, practice with them sometime. They are beyond powerful. After the class, we went into the cafe for a yummy vegetarian dinner. My client Jenn and I just chatted for a while about life, dreams and what we were most excited about in the coming year.

We then were treated to a beautiful kirtan concert with music, singing, dancing. From there, it was time to get QUIET … for 3 hours. Yup, it was New Years Eve in New York City and I was at a place where the “rule” was SILENCE … for … 3 … hours! I remember signing up for this experience and being freaked out that there would be no talking for that long. “What will I do with myself?” I thought. Will I freak out? Be bored? Go out of my mind?

What I chose to do with this MAUNA (silent observation) was to sit, relax, journal, meditate, be. I wrote a letter to my unborn baby (who joined the world 5 days later). I wrote my vision for the year ahead. I surprisingly ran into my friend who I went through a yoga teacher training with a year prior. She had since trained in Thai massage and gave me the most delicious head massage. I then offered her a letter of gratitude and shared in the note just how special she was.

I walked around the halls of the studio and read some powerful quotes on the walls about silence, introspection, truth. My soul felt so alive. I then snuck into the bathroom and texted my husband to send some love his way!

The crazy thing is that the 3 hours FLEW by. It was SOO powerful, so juicy, so wonderful.

Then, at the stroke of midnight, David and Sharon led the hundreds of people there in a beautiful Sanskrit chant. I lost myself in the 108 repetitions, the community, the vibe. Afterwards, they shared their message for the new year and bid everyone adieu.

Jenn and I skipped out of that studio into the subway. We were glowing.

I started that new year with more focus, clarity and fantastic-ness than I EVER had in my life. The rest of that year was so amazing … and the years just keep getting better.

I share that story with you to encourage YOU to think about what you want in the coming year. Set the tone NOW.

Be intentional.

Be willing to make change. Try something new.

Be bold.

Be FULLY you.

Expect GOOD things.

And when you get nervous or scared about what lies ahead, tell yourself the absolute BEST is coming. Believe this, then open up your heart and your hands and receive what is rightfully yours.

So …

You may be wondering what I’m doing tonight to celebrate this auspicious time. Well, after I put my toddler to bed (solo as my hubby is traveling on biz), I will put on some fun music, light candles, and create my NEW vision board for what I want to manifest in 2011. I’ve got lots of magazines, glue sticks, and excitement … and that’s all I need. Woo hoo!

Tomorrow morning, a babysitter is coming over so I can attend a New Year’s Day special yoga class with one of my favorite teachers. I’m psyched!

Before I go, I want to thank YOU for being in my life. Thank you for your support and love and energy. The divine in me bows to the divine in you.

So … off you go … welcome in this new year in a way that only YOU can. I’m excited for you!

I looked out my 31st floor window tonight into the glittering skyline of New York City. Even though I’ve lived in this apartment for close to 5 years, I’m still mesmerized by the beauty of the bright lights, big dreams, and peaceful Hudson River. There are times I can’t even believe that I live the life that I do.

How did I get so lucky? How did I get here?

I often think back to my first apartment in Manhattan 11 years ago. My bedroom was one of the smallest rooms I’d ever seen and the view was starkly different from my current one: two feet in front of my window was a brick wall of the adjacent building. I had absolutely no light coming into my room. Although the view left something to be desired, I didn’t really care. I was 22 years old, new to New York City, and was just glad to be here. Even the 4th floor walkup wasn’t a downer (to me anyways … out-of-town friends and family thought I was nuts for paying $950/month for a matchbox of a room). I knew in my heart I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

And I won’t wax nostalgic and say it was all roses … it wasn’t. There were times I wanted to pack up and go live an “easier” life back in Florida. I missed my friends. I missed driving. I missed the warmth. I missed the familiarity. I got tired of stressing out about money and not having enough. I got tired of working so much to get ahead. I didn’t have a lot of luck on the dating front. I felt a bit lost.

New York isn’t the easiest city to live in … only the strong survive. And that, my friend, is what I’m most grateful to my city for teaching me: how to be a survivor.

I learned to stick up for myself and ask for what I want. I learned to not take no for an answer. I learned that if I want something I’ve got to go and get it. I learned to take big leaps and not be afraid to fall. I learned to listen to and honor my truth. I learned to love. I learned to forgive myself. I learned to be still. I learned to listen to my heart. I learned.

This city has shaped me. This experience has changed me.

It’s no surprise really … just how much this location has affected the course of my life. Sure the choices I made over the last decade certainly play a role, too … but the majority of those choices were available to me because I was living here. Just seems that where you decide to live tells you so much about where you are in your life and what you value.

And I’m someplace else now. I’m in a completely new phase now than when I got here.

In 1999, I was a work-hard, play-hard college grad. Working crazy hours and partying ’til the wee hours: that’s how I spent my time. I loved the bigness of New York. It always kept me on my toes. I was never bored.

Fast forward to 2010. Now, I’m a wife, mother, entrepreneur and yogi. I crave quiet, not noise. I like space, order, room to breathe. I crave nature, air, trees. I want to learn to cook and have a big-enough kitchen to experiment. I actually like to be bored now because I know how to embrace stillness. A true Gemini, I also love adventure and seek it out often.

Change … it is a coming.

In 17 days, my view will be drastically different: in the place of skyscrapers, I’ll see huge green trees everywhere I look. And I’ll actually see the stars in the sky, something that doesn’t happen in Manhattan because it’s so bright here at night.

On a Tuesday in late September, I’m packing up my things and moving with my family two hours away to the Berkshires of Massachusetts. I’m excited, scared, curious, and still kinda in a state of disbelief that this is really happening.

You know how you know you really want to do something – especially BIG stuff like moving cities, getting married, getting divorced, changing jobs, having a baby? You actually do it. You don’t procrastinate. You make calls, you deal with the details (even the challenging, frustrating and annoying ones), you share your story with people, and you start “acting as if” you’re living this change. That’s what I’ve learned so far from this transition.

I know I’ve got a ton of learning in front of me, too. It’s all a work in progress … but I’m riding the wave and seriously stepping out on FAITH that this is the best step for us as a family RIGHT NOW.

When the impending change gets a little overwhelming (and that’s how it goes with changes), I stop and visualize my new scene, my new life: me, relaxing with my cats on my screened porch after an awesome day working from my home office, dinner cooking in the oven. I smile as I hear my husband and son laughing in the playroom downstairs. All of us, growing, thriving, enjoying.

This is the scene I see. This is what I choose to see. This is what I’m creating. This is me. This is truth.

And the truth is the path I follow … it is the way.

I encourage you to honor your truth by asking yourself this question: What do you want to see in your life scene?  The answer will liberate you (and probably scare you a bit, too). Welcome to the journey of a lifetime, fellow traveler. Enjoy the ride.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged … but for good reason. I’m going through a HUGE shift … which means it probably would have been REALLY helpful if I would have been blogging.  I’ve learned that my style of processing is to go INSIDE while I’m in a state of transition, of looking for answers. Once I get “to the other side,” I share my insights through writing, blogging, journaling. It’s my way and I’m cool with that.

So what’s the shift? Where I’m supposed to live. To some people this isn’t a big deal. To me, this is huge. It’s big for my husband Steven, too.

We both had this HUGE epiphany about where our HOME is after a recent couples retreat at Kripalu in the Berkshires. After spending time in the beauty of Western Massachusetts, our truth emerged: THIS is where we’re supposed to live right now. That means our time in the bright lights of New York City is coming to a close. Steven has been a Manhattanite for more than 2 decades, and I’ve been living there (by way of Florida) for 11 years. We love our city deeply, but it’s time to move on.

We had been thinking about where we want to live once we leave NYC for years. Now that we have a son (and 3 cats!), our desire for more space and a different kind of life has increased. We looked at plenty of towns outside of Manhattan, but nothing ever felt quite right to us. Until now.

What tipped us over the edge? Asking for clarity at the retreat. We went through a powerful exercise called an Empathy Labryinth (a picture is included here) where we individually posed the question: “Where do we want to put down roots?”

The purpose of the labyrinth is to get to the heart of these questions: “What are you REALLY feeling and needing? What’s alive in you?”

As we walked the labyrinth and completed the introspective exercise, all of our fears about moving and change came bubbling up for us. The “what if’s” (what if we hate our new town, what if we’re terrible home owners, what if we regret leaving NYC, what if there aren’t any good restaurants, what if I become a Stepford Wife, what if he is bored) came rearing their ugly heads.  That’s what change can do … FREAK YOU OUT.

But then something beautiful happened … we let go and just let the answers come. AND THEY DID … QUICKLY. We received so many powerful messages and gifts over the next week that led us to our decision: we would return to the area where we married 5 years earlier and have been vacationing even longer. It has always felt like “home” to us … and now it will be where our family hunkers down for as long as feels “right.” How long “right” is only time will tell and I’m okay with that. I’m at peace.

It’s official: I’m trading in skyscrapers for mountains at the end of the summer.

A client recently asked me if I’m scared. HECK YA! Fear and change go hand in hand. But I won’t let the fear paralyze me (on most days!) … I will learn to face the strain of change with grace and courage.

“Things do not change; we change.”  ~ Henry David Thoreau

So many people in my life are facing change now too … some self-initiated, some thrust on them by outside forces (seemingly so anyway). One of my clients who was recently laid off told me she is “learning to surf this tsunami.” Powerful concept.

Change is an experience that you can’t avoid (although we often want to run from it like the plague). The actual process of change can cut you to the core, really rock your foundation. It’s okay. It’s what makes you stronger. It’s what makes you real, genuine, you.

I encourage you to think about how you have changed recently. Are you embracing all that you are RIGHT NOW? Are you holding on to people, places or things that don’t fit you anymore? Are you drowning in a sea of “what ifs”?

Feel free to share your story with me in the “comments” section below. I’d love to hear from you and support you on your journey.

Be strong, be bold, be courageous. Be the change. You are powerful beyond measure.

Today is my sister’s birthday. She would have been 29 years old.  I say “would have” (past tense) because she died in 1994 when she was only 12 years old.  Cancer took her away far too soon.  Every year on her birthday, I strive to honor her in some way.  Taking the day off work, getting away for some “me” time, just unplugging so I can connect with her, with my heart, with my sister.

If you have lost loved ones, I encourage you to honor them in your own unique way. It’s a way to feel a connection at such a deep level that it’s almost indescribable.

This year, I wrote a letter to her.  I’m sending it out into the universe …

============

Dear Julie –

Happy birthday, sweet sister.  Today, you would have been 29.  Holy moly.  It’s hard to believe time has passed so quickly.  When you left this earth, you were a mere 12 years old.

I so often wonder what you’d be doing with your life now.  Where would you live? Would you be married? With children? With pets (I think so! You loved animals!)?  Essentially … I wonder how you would spend your precious time.

I’d do anything to have you back … to be able to talk to you and have you talk back.  I crave a conversation between sisters, between friends who share the same set of parents.

I’ve managed to create this connection through the way I live my life, through my openness and my spiritual quest.

I hear your voice when I practice yoga, when I look at my son, when I laugh with my husband, when I look around and appreciate all that life has to offer.

I hear your voice when I am about to break when my plate is TOO full or I’m moving in a direction that is not allowing me to fulfill my life purpose … I hear you saying to me: “What are you doing?  Do you think this is the way?  Listen to your intuition, big sister.  Life is a gift and you better make sure you’re loving it all … and being honest about what’s working for you and what’s not.  No one will do it for you.”

I hear you, I feel you, I breathe you, I love you.

Keep shining, Julie Ann.  Keep beaming, keep guiding me, keep being you.  I thank you and honor you.

On your birthday of April 20, I hope you’re having a HUGE party in heaven, a place where love knows no limits and there is no such thing as pain and suffering.  Know that there are so many people here on earth who love and miss you.

You are a star!

My deepest love,

Your big sister Jenny

Greetings.  How are you?

So, I’m really excited right now.  Why?  Well, lots of reasons … one of which is that I have the honor of attending an amazing women’s entrepreneur’s conference called SHINE next week in fabulous Las Vegas.  In preparation for my attendance, I am re-reading the legendary “Think & Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  The book is a gift from Ali Brown, SHINE host and uber-successful entrepreneur.

Last night, I was reading the chapter on DESIRE and came across a few sections that jumped off the page.  So true, so real, so … powerful.

The author makes a point about no more effort being required to aim high in life, to demand prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty.  He goes on to share a poem that illustrates this universal truth …

I bargained with Life for a penny

And Life would pay no more,

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer,

He gives you what you ask,

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have willingly paid.

Wow.  What clarity. Hammers home a few points for me:

• You get what you ask for
• You must have faith in yourself
• If you don’t ask, you don’t get
• Be bold.  Stand up for your life
• Don’t settle or undermine your value

And we’re not just talking about money here.  Sure, money is energy and how we treat money is an analogy for how we treat ourselves, our bodies, and people in our lives.  To take it a step further, this concept of getting what you ask for translates into ALL aspects of life: relationships, health and wellness, career, adventure … the list goes on.

What are you asking for?  What are you accepting as OKAY with you?  Deep down, what feels right?  What feels off?

Be honest with yourself.  You know what you want.  Remove any limiting beliefs about why so-and-so will never work … or why this obstacle will get in your way … or why you will fail.  The surest way to failure is to never start.

One final thought from the book to guide you on your journey as a BELIEVER:

“There is a difference between wishing for a thing and being ready to receive it.  No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it.  The state of mind must be belief, not more hope or wish. Open-mindedness is essential for belief.  Closed minds do not inspire faith, courage or belief.”

FOCUS FOR THE WEEK

Answer these questions …

What do you desire to do?

Who do you desire to be?

How ready are you?

How open are you?

What’s stopping you?

Until next week, believe, believe, believe!  Picture yourself successful.  Act as if you are already that person.  Fake it until you make it. It works.

xoxo

Jenny

Busy much? If you’re like most women, you are running faster and faster just to keep up with the demands of modern living.  How often have you reached the end of the day and not known where the hours have gone?  You blink and poof, the day is done … but you still have lots on your plate and you’re simply exhausted.

The technology that was supposed to make our lives easier, has too often made us tethered to our computers, phones, work and responsibilities.  Many of us have forgotten how to just “be.”

What’s a girl to do?

Good question.

CALL-TO-ACTION ALERT: Right here, right now, I invite you to take a much-needed break from your life. Step away from the to-do list.  I know you’re a busy gal so I promise that our time together will be well spent.  What are we focusing on?  Making time for the most important person in your life: Y-O-U.

“Me,” you may be asking?  Yes, you.

You see, in my work with women, I find that many are suffering from a martyr mentality: the idea that they have to put everyone else’s needs before their own.  Many fall into the trap of trying to be “perfect.” A huge majority are plagued by the g-word: GUILT.

Does this sound familiar?  You’re not alone if you said yes.  You’re also not alone if you’re not as happy as you think you ought to be.

WOMEN & HAPPINESS

With all the strides women have made through the years, you’d think we’d be happier than we were in the past.  Surprisingly, this is not the case.  In fact, a very significant study called the General Social Survey found some startling statistics related to women’s happiness.  The study revealed two pieces of disheartening news:

• Women are less happy than they were 40 years ago, compared with men
• As women get older, they get sadder

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like those findings.  We have a women’s crisis on our hands … and it’s going to take us banding together to right the ship that has gone off course.

Where do we start?  Look in the mirror. It’s time to reignite the relationship you have with yourSELF.

Ready, set, go …

CONNECT: Be still and identify what fills you up as a woman.  Do you love jazz music, modern art, foreign films, marathons, hot baths, knitting, photography, writing?  What makes you come alive?

RELEASE GUILT: Let it go.  Feeling guilty about nurturing yourself is a waste of precious energy.  In fact, guilt and worry are two emotions that will get you nowhere … FAST.

DATE NIGHT: Make a date with yourself to do something you love.  Schedule it in your calendar.  Rest assured, the world will not stop just because you’ve taken a break.

If you find you are consistently overcommitted, exhausted and simply don’t have time for YOU, the next tip will change your life …

LET PEOPLE DOWN (with grace): Disappointing people is one of the most challenging, yet most important, components to living a powerful life. How many times have you agreed to something you did NOT want to do because you were too afraid to say no?  Practice saying “no, thanks” (do it now!).  It gets easier with time.  If it’s challenging to say that 2-letter word, buy time with the magical phrase: “Let me think about it and get back to you.”

FOCUS FOR THE WEEK

• Get out your calendar and schedule a date with yourself.
• Choose an activity that you absolutely love.  Get excited about pursuing your passion.  Stumped?  Think back to when you were a kid.  What made you come alive?  Give yourself permission to explore this side of yourself that has been dormant for a while.  You never know what you’ll discover.
• Clear your life of commitments that don’t fulfill you.  Perhaps you said yes to things that you weren’t so sure about … and now you know you don’t enjoy.  Make a phone call, send an email, call a meeting and bow out.  You’ll be amazed at how your life opens up and your happiness increases when you use your voice to create your ideal existence.

For more tips on embracing your peaceful power, I invite you to  subscribe to my newsletter.  When you do, you’ll receive a free guide: 7 Simple Ways to Embrace Your Power … NOW.  Readers have shared with me the amazing ways they have enhanced their lives by implementing these simple, yet profound, steps.  Get ready for your evolution!

If you’re looking for a FANTASTIC book on making the practice of extreme self-care a new standard of living, I HIGHLY recommend Cheryl Richardson’s book “The Art of Extreme Self-Care.” I’ve given the book to many clients because I believe in it so much.

Would love to hear what you do to carve out time for your self-care.  Let’s share insights and support one another in this wonderful and wild world of womanhood.

Until next week, have fun with ME TIME.  You’ll be SO glad you did (hint: so will everyone else in your life).

xoxo

Jenny

Ready to create an outrageously fabulous October?  Let’s do it.

This week we are focusing on one of the most IMPORTANT aspects of living an inspired life, one that is full of wonder and joy: being clear about what you want.

I was reminded about how powerful living with vision is last week when I connected with a gal who has been doing this for 12 years. This is an amazing story, one that truly left me with a sense of awe. It’s a story of boy meets girl, another boy meets another girl … and then these two girls meet each other to share something that will be in their memories (and pictures) forever: A DRESS.  So sit back and have some fun reading this.

I got married to my wonderful husband Steven in the summer of 2005 (our big day is pictured in this post).  I remember the details of the wedding so well.  The location, the people, the music, the food, the vows, the vibe.  And like every bride, I remember my dress.

Ahhh, the dress.  My vintage-style Badgley Mischka gown fit me like a glove.  I loved that dress … and was thrilled that I only paid a fraction of the retail price (I bought it used).  I found “the dress” at Michael’s, a designer consignment store on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.  As soon as I tried the dress on, I knew it was “the one.”  I wish I could have thanked the original owner of the dress for sharing this beautiful garment with me!  I knew I would return the favor by passing it on to the next lucky bride.

Although my intention was to pass on the dress, I found it hard to part with it. Every time I’d open the closet in the guest bedroom (which has now morphed into my son’s room), I’d see the dress bag and say to myself: “I’ve gotta sell that dress.”  I didn’t quite know how to go about selling it and was really dragging my feet. Part of me was sad to part with it  (Thoughts in my head included: “Oh, the memories!” and “What if my not-yet-conceived daughter wants to wear it?”).  The other part of me knew that the dress was too beautiful to stay tucked away in a closet … and that some other bride is supposed to have the honor of wearing this special garment on a life-changing day.

Years passed … and the dress stayed in my closet.

Fast forward to fall of 2009.  I decide to attend SHINE, a women’s entrepreneur’s conference hosted by the amazing Ali Brown next month in Las Vegas.  This event is all about taking your business and life to the next level – woo hoo!   With all of the new opportunities in my life, I knew it was time to clear out the old stuff I have been holding on to (i.e. “the dress”) and free up some space and some funds at a crucial and exciting time in my business: growth mode.

So I posted “the dress” on two great web sites: www.oncewed.com and www.preownedweddingdresses.com.   Within days I received multiple inquiries.  One inquiry gave me goosebumps.

Here’s what it said:

“Hi! This is going to sound crazy, but I have had this dress picked out since 1997! It was featured in InStyle Magazine back then (I was 14) and I have saved the magazine ever since to remember the dress. Since you are also in NYC, may I please see the dress?”

I couldn’t believe what I was reading.  “What?  Are you kidding?  How amazing is this?”

We immediately made plans for her to try on the dress.  I crossed my fingers that there would be a happy ending and the dress would live up to her expectations …

And …

It …

Did.

I’m triple thrilled:

• For her – She gets to wear “the dress” she’s thought about for 12 years on her wedding day
• For me – I got money to grow my business and allow me to do what I’m passionate about: empower women to create lives of their choosing
• For the dress – This beautiful gown gets to continue doing what it does so well: play a pivotal role in someone’s life

This story is all about one thing: BEING CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

She saved this magazine article (in pristine condition – mind you!) for 12 years.  She knew exactly what she wanted.

I wanted to go to this conference and wanted to free up some funds to make it happen.

Put our intentions together and poof: magic happens. Our dreams are both being realized.  How cool is that?  This story will always bring a smile to my face.  It couldn’t have turned out any better in my book.

FOCUS FOR THE WEEK

• Write about your life one year from now (October 2010).  Be clear about what you’re doing in as many aspects possible.  Where are you living?  Who are you spending time with?  What does your career look like?  How much fun are you having?  Be clear and detailed.
• Create a vision board or vision box containing images, words, pictures, keepsakes of the kind of life you want to manifest.  Have some fun with this!  Let your creative side come out and play.
• When communicating with anyone, be very clear about your desires, wants and expectations.  This leaves a lot less room for miscommunication and disappointment.
• Trust your intuition.  When you feel it’s time to make a move in your life, have the guts to make a move.   Feel confident in your decision.  To get what you want, you must be willing to take action AND assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled.
• What are you holding on to that doesn’t serve you any longer?  What can you sell, give away, recycle or otherwise pass on?  Spread the love.

Until next week, be clear about what you want.  Manifest your vision.  Magic will happen.

xoxo

Jenny

P.S.  I didn’t sell the entire wedding ensemble.  I saved the veil and earrings for future generations.  Seemed worth saving!

I have a confession to make: I am a reformed video game junkie.  Yes, back in the day, I ate, slept, and breathed Nintendo (the first edition – I’m dating myself!).

I was a reminded of my video game obsession when I wandered into Underground Tokyo, a gamers paradise, on-board my Carnival cruise last week.  The memories came flooding back.

I was obsessed with two games: Super Mario Brothers and The Legend of Zelda (I can still remember that shiny golden case).  I loved how the games were divided into levels.  You had to master a stage before you could gain entry to the next, super-cool world.   My sister and I would stay up for HOURS honing our skills, yelling at the TV screen, and having a ball.  I’ll never forget that feeling of “beating” the system (slaying the monster) and taking another step forward in my quest to be a video game champion.

Though my love for video games has faded (perhaps my young son will rekindle my love affair with gaming when he gets older?), I am struck by how closely VIRTUAL games reflect this REAL game of life we’re playing right now.

In the gaming world, you can’t move on to the next level until you’re strong enough to master a situation, choose the correct path, prioritize and keep your eye on the prize.  If the system senses you’re not ready, game over … you’re staying where you are. You’ll have to keep repeating that level over and over until you change your approach and FIGURE OUT THE BEST WAY FORWARD.

In REAL life, have you ever noticed that the same type of situations (aka: monsters) keep showing up? It’s like a theme keeps emerging … like a record keeps playing the same song over and over.

It’s easier to notice these trends when you look at your life objectively from above.  Take a minute and really think about this.  What do you see?

Perhaps you …

• Tend to attract romantic partners or friends who don’t meet your needs or treat you the way you want to be treated
• Stay in jobs that want more than you can give
• Have a tumultuous relationship with money.  You don’t like taking about finances, but find that you often worry about money
• Avoid conflict and challenging conversations at all costs.  You want to be more assertive, but aren’t sure how
• Are a  “good girl” and put everyone’s needs ahead of your own
• Accept whatever is given to you … even when you want something different
• Find yourself in situations that you’re not comfortable with, but you won’t speak up about your desires
• Have a completely different situation that keeps showing up.  What is it?  Why is it so dominant in your life?

As a coach, I have the honor of getting an insider’s perspective into many people’s lives.  It’s fascinating.  My experience has led me to the following HUGE discovery:

The universe keeps presenting life lessons until you master them and are ready to move on.  A theme will emerge over and over (in various manifestations) until you prove you have decoded the riddle.  Once you do, you move on to the next challenge (it’s better than the last).

Make sense?

I hope so.

If you’re wondering why such-and-such keeps happening to you … or why so-and-so keeps letting you down … or why you tend to feel frustrated … or why you can’t seem to find what you’re looking for … STOP and remember this video game analogy.  Become a trend watcher, a game player, a game changer.

If you want to take a look at your life and start living it vs. allowing your life to live you, start now.  Notice what themes keep showing up … and ask yourself: WHY? What is the lesson here?  What can you learn from this situation to help you move to the next level?

FOCUS OF THE WEEK

• Look at your life holistically.  What trends do you see in the different sectors – relationships, career, finances, health, fun, spirituality?  Are you holding back … pushing too hard … afraid of change?
• Commit to taking action on the trend that scares you the most.  Your action step doesn’t have to be monumental, but perhaps it is.  Maybe it’s making a phone call, buying a book, cleaning your closet, cutting something out of your life, moving on, moving up, simplifying, writing a letter, saying “no”, taking a new route home.  You may feel like you are shedding a thick layer of skin.  Don’t worry – it’s part of the growth process.
• Create your celebratory message that you’ll see when you “graduate” to the next level.  Experiencing writers block?  Try this one on for size: “Hello, beautiful.  You rock.  Thanks for being here and making the world a better place.”

Remember – life is a game.  What kind of player are you?

Until next week, game on …

xoxo

Jenny

September 11, 2001 is a day I’ll never forget. Anyone living in New York City on that day would probably say the same thing.

I remember how beautiful and seemingly “normal” that Tuesday began. It was a gorgeous fall day, sunny and warm with a slight crispness in the air.  I was watching The Today Show while I got ready for work.  At around 8:45 a.m. Matt Lauer and Katie Couric reported that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center.  The information coming in was still very preliminary and it at first seemed like a small commuter plane was the plane in question.  I figured the plane probably had an unfortunate mechanical problem.  Little did I know this event would unfold into such an international tragedy and affect so many lives.

It was time for me to leave for work so I turned off the TV and started my commute on the subway.  Most people on the train weren’t aware of the plane crash.   A subway conductor came onto the loudspeaker and told the passengers about the accident.  A look of concern and confusion came onto people’s faces.  We still didn’t have too much official information so off we went to our destinations.

By the time I walked into my office in Midtown Manhattan, the world had changed. On our lobby televisions, I could see the wild news: a second plane had crashed into the other tower of the World Trade Center.  What?  I stared at the screen in disbelief.

I eventually walked to my desk and had an instant message from a friend waiting to greet me.  “Are you okay?  Another plane has just crashed into the Pentagon.”  I felt like the world was ending …

The next few days passed in a haze of disbelief, grief, anger, confusion, compassion and service.

I saw some really sad, heartwrenching, terrible things, but I also witnessed beauty and an outpouring of love. I’ve never written about this event before, and after eight years it’s time to share what I’ll never forget …

I’ll never forget:

• The guy on the street holding a handmade sign: “Free hugs”
• The shoe store giving away sneakers to women who wore high heels that day and had to walk miles home
• The men and women in ripped, soot-covered business suits with looks of relief and disbelief after walking blocks and blocks from the tragic scene
• The “missing” signs plastered everywhere describing loved ones: where they worked, their tattoos, the outfit they were wearing, their wedding bands
• An outpouring of supplies and support.  I volunteered at the Javits Center on the west side of Manhattan and was overwhelmed by the carloads of people who drove from all over the country just to drop off bottled water, food, clothes, first aid kits, stuffed animals, you name it
• New Yorkers deciding to move out of the city and others vowing to never leave
• The feeling of “what does it all mean?” I had after I returned to my work as a public relations account executive
• The slowly getting back to living … and a new definition of what “living” and “success” meant

Now, eight years later, I still feel “off” on this day. It’s not surprising – the anniversary of my sister’s death from cancer is always an odd day for me, too.  I think it’s the feeling of loss that accompanies lost souls, people who you wish were still here.  I give myself permission to feel what I feel … and then remind myself that I’M STILL HERE. I still have work to do.  It’s my responsibility, my honor to carry on and do GREAT THINGS here on earth.

President Obama has designated September 11 a National Day of Service and Remembrance.  Let’s guard the memories of those who died by tapping into the spirit of service and love. How can you serve?  How can you show love?  How can you practice compassion … to loved ones as well as strangers?

Think about it.  Act.  See how serving and loving makes you feel.

FOCUS FOR THE WEEK

• Tell your family you love them … better yet: show them.  Actions speak louder than words.
• Research an organization that you’ve been interested in getting involved with.  What volunteer opportunies exist?  Perhaps a monetary donation makes more sense to you?  Give, give, give … and give some more.
• Offer to mentor someone.
• Give someone a hug.
• Invite your neighbors over for dinner.
• Pay someone a genuine compliment.
• Let an incoming car into traffic.
• Be kind to people … even if you feel they aren’t being kind to you.  Compassion is contagious.  Pass it on.
• Remember how lucky you are to be here.   Vow to appreciate every day (even the hard ones).

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite poems called Desiderata.  This was written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s.  Close to 90 years later, it still has so much relevance.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Greetings.  Hope you’re enjoying these last few days of summer.  I’m always amazed at how quickly the warm days fly by.   Before I know it, fall is here and I’m bundling up and watching the leaves change.  Until then, I’m soaking up the sun and loving the heat.

So, New York City gets REALLY hot at times … and this past week was one of these sweltering weeks that reminded me of my childhood in sunny Florida.  As I was walking the streets of Manhattan, sweating up a storm, I started thinking about what heat does to our body, mind and spirit.  Then I remembered this fascinating concept of tapas.

What is tapas?

I’m not referring to the yummy appetizers you may order in your favorite Spanish restaurant, I’m talking about the yogic concept of using intense effort to burn through life’s distractions. Tapas is all about using a disciplined approach to work and self-sacrifice to burn away the negativity that separates us from our Higher Power (God, the Source, etc.).

I first learned about the concept of tapas during my yoga teacher training a few years ago.  Tapas is one of the Niyamas (observances of self-control) described in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (an enlightening book about the philosophy of yoga).  Tapas implies a self-discipline willingly expended both in restraining physical urges and in actively pursuing a higher purpose in life.

Through tapas, you can “burn off” or prevent accumulation of negative energies, clearing a path toward spiritual evolution. The fire of your focus can burn through obstacles, leaving only ease and lightness.

Cool, right? Or might I say: hot, right?

It’s an amazingly interesting idea.  Let’s explore this some more and see how you might apply this fiery concept to your life …

What is tapas and why is it so hot, hot, hot? Tapas is:

• Discipline, as well as the fiery ability to overcome the obstacles in your path.
• The ability to stay focused on your highest aims in life, as well as the burning up of the ego and its distracting desires.
• Very powerful and intense. Even in the face of distractions and obstacles, tapas reminds you about what is most important… and gives you the motivation to stick with your practice through thick and thin.

A word of warning …

Because of this fiery nature, tapas can nearly burn you up if you aren’t careful. Tapas can be overtaken by the ego, and a your practice can become full of extreme measures that are unhealthy and ego-driven.

How do you prevent getting burned by tapas?

Keep contentment (santosha) close at hand. Contentment gives you the ability to accept the current state as it truly is… and to work with the resources available to you, rather than forcing or pushing to achieve the goals of the ego. We’ll talk more about santosha (the practice of being content) in a later post.  It’s one of my favorite concepts and one that has major life implications.

FOCUS OF THE WEEK

• What is most important in your life?  Put your priority list in a place where you are reminded of it on a daily basis.
• What do you do when problems arise?  How might you use the concept of tapas to help you scale the walls of the obstacles that are in your path?
• How do you prove your level of commitment to a cause?  On a scale of 1 – 10, how disciplined are you in creating a life that you love?
• The next time you’re sweating, think about what you’re “burning” out of your system.  What are you leaving behind?

So … as summer winds down, do yourself a favor: turn up the heat. See what happens when you feel the burn.

xoxo

Jenny

P.S.  The picture in this post is of a really funky, fiery piece of art at Coachella Music & Arts Festival in Palm Springs, California.  If you’re into hearing live music in a beautiful setting, I HIGHLY recommend checking out this festival.  Great acts, cool crowd, magical vibe.  Plus, the weather can’t be beat.