It’s been a while since I’ve blogged … but for good reason. I’m going through a HUGE shift … which means it probably would have been REALLY helpful if I would have been blogging.  I’ve learned that my style of processing is to go INSIDE while I’m in a state of transition, of looking for answers. Once I get “to the other side,” I share my insights through writing, blogging, journaling. It’s my way and I’m cool with that.

So what’s the shift? Where I’m supposed to live. To some people this isn’t a big deal. To me, this is huge. It’s big for my husband Steven, too.

We both had this HUGE epiphany about where our HOME is after a recent couples retreat at Kripalu in the Berkshires. After spending time in the beauty of Western Massachusetts, our truth emerged: THIS is where we’re supposed to live right now. That means our time in the bright lights of New York City is coming to a close. Steven has been a Manhattanite for more than 2 decades, and I’ve been living there (by way of Florida) for 11 years. We love our city deeply, but it’s time to move on.

We had been thinking about where we want to live once we leave NYC for years. Now that we have a son (and 3 cats!), our desire for more space and a different kind of life has increased. We looked at plenty of towns outside of Manhattan, but nothing ever felt quite right to us. Until now.

What tipped us over the edge? Asking for clarity at the retreat. We went through a powerful exercise called an Empathy Labryinth (a picture is included here) where we individually posed the question: “Where do we want to put down roots?”

The purpose of the labyrinth is to get to the heart of these questions: “What are you REALLY feeling and needing? What’s alive in you?”

As we walked the labyrinth and completed the introspective exercise, all of our fears about moving and change came bubbling up for us. The “what if’s” (what if we hate our new town, what if we’re terrible home owners, what if we regret leaving NYC, what if there aren’t any good restaurants, what if I become a Stepford Wife, what if he is bored) came rearing their ugly heads.  That’s what change can do … FREAK YOU OUT.

But then something beautiful happened … we let go and just let the answers come. AND THEY DID … QUICKLY. We received so many powerful messages and gifts over the next week that led us to our decision: we would return to the area where we married 5 years earlier and have been vacationing even longer. It has always felt like “home” to us … and now it will be where our family hunkers down for as long as feels “right.” How long “right” is only time will tell and I’m okay with that. I’m at peace.

It’s official: I’m trading in skyscrapers for mountains at the end of the summer.

A client recently asked me if I’m scared. HECK YA! Fear and change go hand in hand. But I won’t let the fear paralyze me (on most days!) … I will learn to face the strain of change with grace and courage.

“Things do not change; we change.”  ~ Henry David Thoreau

So many people in my life are facing change now too … some self-initiated, some thrust on them by outside forces (seemingly so anyway). One of my clients who was recently laid off told me she is “learning to surf this tsunami.” Powerful concept.

Change is an experience that you can’t avoid (although we often want to run from it like the plague). The actual process of change can cut you to the core, really rock your foundation. It’s okay. It’s what makes you stronger. It’s what makes you real, genuine, you.

I encourage you to think about how you have changed recently. Are you embracing all that you are RIGHT NOW? Are you holding on to people, places or things that don’t fit you anymore? Are you drowning in a sea of “what ifs”?

Feel free to share your story with me in the “comments” section below. I’d love to hear from you and support you on your journey.

Be strong, be bold, be courageous. Be the change. You are powerful beyond measure.

Today is my sister’s birthday. She would have been 29 years old.  I say “would have” (past tense) because she died in 1994 when she was only 12 years old.  Cancer took her away far too soon.  Every year on her birthday, I strive to honor her in some way.  Taking the day off work, getting away for some “me” time, just unplugging so I can connect with her, with my heart, with my sister.

If you have lost loved ones, I encourage you to honor them in your own unique way. It’s a way to feel a connection at such a deep level that it’s almost indescribable.

This year, I wrote a letter to her.  I’m sending it out into the universe …

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Dear Julie –

Happy birthday, sweet sister.  Today, you would have been 29.  Holy moly.  It’s hard to believe time has passed so quickly.  When you left this earth, you were a mere 12 years old.

I so often wonder what you’d be doing with your life now.  Where would you live? Would you be married? With children? With pets (I think so! You loved animals!)?  Essentially … I wonder how you would spend your precious time.

I’d do anything to have you back … to be able to talk to you and have you talk back.  I crave a conversation between sisters, between friends who share the same set of parents.

I’ve managed to create this connection through the way I live my life, through my openness and my spiritual quest.

I hear your voice when I practice yoga, when I look at my son, when I laugh with my husband, when I look around and appreciate all that life has to offer.

I hear your voice when I am about to break when my plate is TOO full or I’m moving in a direction that is not allowing me to fulfill my life purpose … I hear you saying to me: “What are you doing?  Do you think this is the way?  Listen to your intuition, big sister.  Life is a gift and you better make sure you’re loving it all … and being honest about what’s working for you and what’s not.  No one will do it for you.”

I hear you, I feel you, I breathe you, I love you.

Keep shining, Julie Ann.  Keep beaming, keep guiding me, keep being you.  I thank you and honor you.

On your birthday of April 20, I hope you’re having a HUGE party in heaven, a place where love knows no limits and there is no such thing as pain and suffering.  Know that there are so many people here on earth who love and miss you.

You are a star!

My deepest love,

Your big sister Jenny

Many people are concerned about leaving a legacy … evidence that their life really mattered, that they made a difference in the world and in the lives of those they love.  A legacy reflects who you are as a person and what your life was about.

I have been thinking a lot about this concept of legacy lately.  I heard it mentioned at an entrepreneurs conference back in the fall.  “What do you want your legacy to be?” I wasn’t quite sure … but a seed had been planted.

About a month ago, I visited my hometown of New Smyrna Beach, Fla., and had the opportunity to speak to a bunch of students at my former middle school.  I talked to them about following their dreams, having passion, going to college, and playing big in life.  That talk ignited a spark. I saw 12-year-old me in their eyes …I saw my late sister Julie (who died when she was a student at that school) in their faces, in their dreams, in their youth.

After returning home to New York City, that experience of connecting with these students stayed with me.  The fire was burning in my belly. What to do with it?  What to do with that energy?  Hmm … the answer always comes.  What would it be?

A few days ago the answer came: I want part of my legacy to be keeping my sister’s legacy alive.  I want to give young people the opportunity live their dreams, to step into their power, to own their magic.

I called my parents with my idea: Let’s create a scholarship in Julie’s honor. Let’s give it to a high school senior who has battled heath problems (my sister died from cancer) and exhibited great strength and courage.  Let’s call it the Julie Amon Dolphins of Strength Scholarship.

They loved the idea.  I think we all wondered why we hadn’t thought of this earlier (it’s been 16 years since Julie died).

I then shifted into creating a description of the scholarship, including a bit about the girl behind the gift.  I wrote this description in about an hour.  I thought the writing process would be intense and was a little afraid of it, but the words poured onto the page effortlessly and easily.  I was being guided. It was like she was there saying, “Go, big sister.  You’re on the right path.  This is it.”

Here’s what I wrote …

“Thank you for your interest in applying for the Julie Amon Dolphins of Strength Scholarship.  In addition to completing the standard scholarship application, a personal essay is also required.

A bit about Julie before the essay is explained …

Julie Ann Amon was an amazing daughter, sister, friend, and student.  She was full of life and laughter and absolutely LOVED school.  She also loved animals and had a strong relationship with God.

Julie was a 6^th grader at New Smyrna Beach Middle School when she was diagnosed with cancer.  It was January 1993. Never one to shrink from a challenge, she underwent painful radiation and chemotherapy treatments at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, Fla.  Julie waged a courageous battle against the disease, fighting bravely for over a year.  Throughout it all, Julie never complained or wanted people to take pity on her.  She always kept her sense of humor.  She trusted that God had a plan for her.

Much to the heartbreak of everyone who knew her, Julie took her last breath on February 27, 1994.  She was 12 years old when she died and was a 7^th grader in the gifted program at NSBMS.  Her strength and courage were – and are – an inspiration.

Now, 16 years after her death, we are stepping up to honor Julie’s legacy by giving a college scholarship to a deserving NSBHS student who has waged their own courageous battle with health issues.  We salute your strength and are rallying around you for good health and big success as you graduate to tackle the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.

So, what’s the deal with dolphins?  Well, Julie LOVED dolphins.  She wore a special dolphin ring that served as her protector during her darkest days.  She must have been onto something because it’s a known fact that dolphins actually stay with injured or ill individuals, even helping them to breathe by bringing them to the surface if needed.  They have also been seen protecting swimmers from sharks by swimming circles around the people in danger.  Cool, right?

As you move into this next exciting chapter in your life, we invite you to apply for the inaugural Julie Amon Dolphins of Strength Scholarship by completing the essay questions below.

Good luck.  You are a superstar and are off to do great things!

Love,

Julie’s Family”

I share this with you to give you insight into a girl who was the strongest person I’ve ever known.  We can all learn something by the way she lived her life … by her legacy.  May it allow you to remember what really matters, that you matter, that we’re LUCKY to be here.

May you know that you can always choose to step up, step out and DO something.  You are here for a reason.

So … what kind of legacy do you want to leave, and how will you pursue it today?  Share below.  I will see you there!

One of my favorite teachers and guides is Cheryl Richardson. Cheryl has written a bunch of best-selling books and often appears as life coach extraordinaire on Oprah.

In her fantastic book called The Art of Extreme Self-Care, Cheryl conveys the following truth: “If your life is chaotic, your schedule is overcrowded, and your brain is too full to think straight, the key to reclaiming your life has a lot more to do with what you remove from your life than how you organize it.” Cheryl goes on to say that people need to remove at least 30 percent of what they have on their plates just to get started.

Wow. I love how she tells it like it is. As women, we often say YES to way TOO many things … and don’t admit when things just aren’t working for us anymore. “Am I being to picky?” “Am I being mean?” “Am I expecting too much?” “Will so-and-so hate me if I don’t go along with this?” These are some of the thoughts that race through our minds when we want to say no to things, but aren’t sure we’re “allowed” to.

In the spirit of my monthly theme of managing energy, not time, I’ve taken Cheryl’s sage advice and created an ABSOLUTE NO list (many of my NOs are inspired by her list). Here goes:

I No Longer …
• Rush.
• Jump out of bed in the morning. I give myself the time and space I need to start the day in a serene and relaxed state.
• Live without pets. I love my kitties!
• Compromise my needs to keep peace with anyone.
• Use my credit cards unless I can pay them off in full at the end of the month.
• Keep anything in my home that I don’t love or need.
• Deal with difficult life situations alone. I tap into my vast network of support (friends, family, coaches, therapists).
• Accept verbal abuse from a boss, co-worker, family member or friend.
• Keep my opinions to myself when they don’t align with those of others in the room. I use my voice.
• Let social norms dictate what I should be interested in, whether it’s clothes, art, music. I love what I love.
• Invest time in relationships that aren’t aligned with who I am and who I want to be.
• Finish reading books that lose my interest.
• Take junk mail into my home (I have a recycling box at my mailbox).
• Feel the need to check my email multiple times a day.
• Get caught up in other people’s drama.
• Feel an obligation to spend time with family members or friends who choose to live in chaos.
• Feel bad about saying NO when NO is what’s best for me.
• Throw away anything that can be recycled.
• Spend time with people who talk AT me instead of WITH me.
• Run my business by myself. I have a team of support (virtual assistants, web designers, coaches, mastermind partners).
• Charge less than I’m worth in my business. I know my value and only will work with people who believe in my value (and theirs).
• Put my needs last. I fill my tank first so I can be the best woman, wife, mother, daughter, friend possible.
• Run around like a maniac. I chunk my time into three key areas: focus, flex and open. I respect the power of discipline in my schedule.
• Prepare my own taxes. I pay someone else to do it.
• Let people walk all over me. I create boundaries with an open heart.
• Think of self-care as a luxury. I build in regular renewal breaks.

What do you think about this list? Does it excite you? Does it get your heart racing?  Does it scare you? Does it piss you off? Does it make you a bit nervous? Does it relieve you?  One small “no” can open your mind to new possibilities. Try it and see.

This is all about upgrading our lives. If you’re tired of being tired, tired of living in a constant state of overwhelm, and sick of the “is this all there is?” thought, then YOU ARE READY to start saying NO.

Create Your Own List
First things first: spend a week looking for those activities that you no longer do, no longer want to do, of would like to give up at some point in the future. Also, look for the sources of frustration in your life – the same old arguments, the typical commitments that backfire, or the situations that always leave you feeling drained or resentful.

Create your list on your computer or in your notebook or journal. Post this list in a place where you’ll see it every day for at least the next month. To strengthen your resolve, take five to 10 minutes each day to read through your list. Imagine that you’re inscribing these new rules into your own life policy book. You are the CEO of Y-O-U … and this is the most powerful way to run your life more efficiently and effectively.

Your ABSOLUTE NO list will make you feel safe, protected, taken care of, and free to be your BEST SELF. If that payout doesn’t propel you do create your list, I’m not sure what will. Stop making your life so hard … start saying NO to make room for more YESES.  Your life will change … guaranteed.

So, I’m curious … what’s on your ABSOLUTE NO? Share below. I’ll see you there!

Today, on the day that we celebrate the powerful man who encourages us to DREAM, Martin Luther King, Jr., I was given a great gift by an old friend.  This gift wasn’t material in nature or an experience of any sort, rather it was a REMINDER of the importance of MAKING YOUR DAYS COUNT.

My friend shared with me a poem called DREAM BIG.  He shared this with me after watching a video I made and posted to Facebook about my son’s first year on earth.  (You can watch the video here.  Note it was my FIRST time playing with iMovie … and give the program two thumbs up for novices like me.  If you are thinking of making a movie, do it!  It’s very user friendly and you’ll be amazed by your creation.)

The last scene of the video was the message: DREAM BIG (words on a shirt [pictured above] given to my son by another amazing friend Kelly Newsome.  I have great friends!).  This 2-second clip inspired him to share these amazing words with me … which then inspired me to share them with you. Don’t you just love the domino effect of sharing?

This is what life is about, folks … spreading ideas worth sharing. Standing up for what you believe in.  Having the audacity to hope, to dream, to take a stand, to hold people up, to encourage people to LIVE the LIFE that they dream about, to inspire yourSELF to live a life that you are deeply, madly, passionately in love with.

And there will be naysayers out there who challenge you, who want to hold you back, who are nervous about you having a larger vision of yourself, of humanity, of the world.  They’ll ask WHY?

When they tell you it can’t be done, that you’ll fail, that there is NO way, what will you do?  I encourage you to muster up your strength, courage, vision and passion and say: Watch me.

Dream big. Trust. Persist. Do it right.

I share this poem with you, passed on to me from my old pal from New Smyrna Beach High School Patrick Heaton.  Thanks, friend.  And my deepest gratitude to Dr. King for continuing to remind us that ANYTHING is possible.

DREAM BIG

If there were ever a time to dare,
To make a difference
To embark on something worth doing
It is now.
Not for any grand cause, necessarily –
But for something that tugs at your heart
Something that is worth your aspiration
Something that is your dream.
You owe it to yourself
To make your days count.
Have fun. Dig deep. Stretch.

Dream big.

Know, though,
That things worth doing
Seldom come easy,
There will be times when you want to
Turn around
Pack it up and call it quits
Those times tell you
That you are pushing yourself
And that you are not afraid to learn by trying.

Persist.

Because with an idea,
Determination and the right tools,
You can do great things.
Let your instincts, your intellect
And let your heart guide you.

Trust.

Believe in the incredible power
Of the human mind
Of doing something that makes a difference
Of working hard
Of laughing and hoping
Of lasting friends
Of all the things that will cross your path
Next year
The start of something new
Brings the hope of something great.
Anything is possible
There is only one you
And you will pass this way but once.

Do it right.

-Author unknown

** Dear reader, how will YOU dream big today?  How are you making TODAY count?  Please share in the comments section below.  See you there! **

I was 28 the first time I put on snow skis.  I “learned” to ski on man-made ice in the  Poconos of Pennsylvania.

When I went to Aspen two years ago, I learned why skiing out west is different – A LOT different – than skiing out east.  I’ll break it down to the difference between powder and ice.  Powder is awesome.  It looks like glitter when the sun is reflecting off it.  Plus it hurts a whole lot less than ice when you fall.  Another reason I prefer west coast skiing?  When I’m out west I just feel like I’m more on vacation since I’m farther from my New York City home.

So, when my family embarked on our Colorado adventure to Avon/Beaver Creek (near Vail) earlier this month, I knew skiing would be part of my experience (that’s me and my husband Steven pictured above before we rode the gondola to the ski lift).  I was excited … and a bit nervous because I consider myself a beginner and know I have a lot to learn.

Being a beginner is humbling. You’re on your butt a lot.  You’re not quite sure what to do with all of the directions swimming around in your head.   You’re out of your element.  You’re kinda freaking out. You’re mostly surrounded by people who are much better than you (including LOTS of 5-year-old kids who fly down the mountain with no fear and no poles!).  And there are times when you want to give up.

In the midst of it all, I had a major revelation:

Skiing is an extreme metaphor for life. The lessons are amazingly relevant for showing up and playing big.

Here are my top 9 lessons learned from When in Rome (or Colorado): SKIING EDITION.  Enjoy …

1. A guide makes the journey much easier

I fell on my butt about 5 times during my ski adventure.  And all of the those falls were when I was skiing on my own … and NOT with my ski instructors.  Now I’m not saying that falling is bad (it’s a great way to learn), but working with guides can make your journey much more powerful and enjoyable and much less scary. Even really advanced skiers often work with ski instructors to help them strengthen their skills and become even better.  Who’s guiding you?

2. Wave to the people

This was one of the cues my ski instructor gave me to help me remember which pole to lift during a turn.  I was having a really hard time remembering the pole instructions (right and left seem to blend when I’m skiing fast and freezing!) until he came up with this easy concept.  All of the sudden the idea clicked and I wrapped my head around the instruction.

If you’re grappling with something, come up with a way to make it easy for your mind to absorb it.  We all have different learning styles, experiment with what works for you.

3. Be prepared: The right gear is crucial

“There is no bad weather, just bad clothing choices.”  I heard this on my journey and I have to agree (especially as the tips of my fingers felt like they might fall off until I put hand warmers in my gloves!).  No matter what your situation, be prepared.  Don’t complain about the things you can’t control … focus on the things that you can.  Use your energy in the most constructive, effective way possible.

4. Don’t worry about the people behind you

When skiing, you’re always going to have people coming up behind you and beside you.  While you need to be mindful of your actions, you can’t waste your time worrying what people behind you are doing (or saying about you).  Just do your thing, be respectful, be smart, be brave … and you’ll be fine.

5. Look around, not down

As a beginner, I had a tendency to look DOWN at my skis and miss everything around me, including the cues my body was sending me and the beautiful scenery.  I was afraid to trust my skis and my surroundings.  Once I learned to lift my gaze and start looking around at my total environment, I started having fun, letting loose, and … (drum roll, please): SKIING.

Play around with shifting your perspective.  What do you see?

6. Chocolate makes things better

Beaver Creek Resort has an awesome tradition that I can’t wait to experience again: warm chocolate chip cookies distributed by chefs (for free!) at the bottom of the ski slopes every afternoon.  I’m telling you … people were on Cloud 9 after these treats.  What I found so endearing is how much these treats were loved by people of all ages.  They were a great connector … and a great brand builder by the resort.  Chocolate = happiness.  This savvy branding technique will bring people back for more and make the resort town stand out in people’s minds.

What’s your brand (personal or business)?  How are you building connections with your tribe?

7. Rest at the end of the day

There’s nothing better than taking your ski boots off at the end of a great day on the slopes.  You feel such a sense of accomplishment.  When you work hard and really push yourself, you’ve earned a break.  Take it.  Rest is important to playing big.  Protecting your downtime is essential in creating a kick-ass life.

8. It’s never too late to start

Think you’ve missed the boat because you’re ____ years old (fill in the blank) and haven’t tried so-and-so or pursued a passion?  Think again.   That is one of the biggest excuses (and travesties!) holding you back from living a life full of passion and adventure.  Today is a perfect day to start.  If not now, when?

9. A family that plays together stays together

Play, play, and play some more!  For us Fenigs, ski trips are now a part of our annual winter experience.  I didn’t go on ski trips as a kid so these trips as an adult are somewhat out of my comfort zone, but I’m loving it.  Growth can be quite uncomfortable at times … but so freaking exciting.

Create family traditions that are uniquely yours. Children and adults can come to look forward to these regular occurrences.  There is a comfort, a clarity, a sense of security that comes from traditions that you create and protect.

You’re in charge.  How cool is that?

* So, I’m curious … which one of these lessons resonated most with you?  Which one are you most excited to play around with?  Join the discussion below.  See you there!

Let the Colorado fun continue …

On the evening of Day 5 of our family adventure, we had the quintessential holiday experience in snowy Colorado: a horse-drawn sleigh ride.  It. Was. Magical.

Imagine, pulling up to a wooden and stone lodge glistening with twinkle lights and full of holiday spirit.  Then, being greeted by the host of the lovely restaurant and led to the bar for a cup of hot apple cider.  Yum.

Gorgeous Christmas tree at the Timber Hearth Lodge

While drinking your cider, you walk outside to a roaring fire in the fire pit.  You meet your fellow sleigh riding companions … and hop onto the red and green sleigh for the ride of your dreams.

Now I know why there are holiday songs with odes to “one-horse open sleighs.”  Being pulled around the hills of Colorado by not one, but TWO amazing horses was nothing short of breathtaking.  These white and brown beauties were the stars of the evening.  Sharing their gifts in such generous ways.

The best part?  Watching my 11-month-old son Sean pet the horses … and seeing his face light up at being around such gentle, powerful creatures.  He was enthralled by the horses … and so was I.  I stopped to pet the long strip between their eyes and nose.  I looked into their big, peaceful eyes.  I thanked them for their service and gentle natures.  I told them how special they are.  I was so grateful to them for giving me a memory that will forever be etched in my mind.

Magic moment

I find that there are moments in time that are so beautiful, so pure, so magical that I sometimes ask myself if I’m “allowed” to be having this much fun … if I’m allowed to be this happy … this lucky … this free.  Like I have to ask someone if what I’m doing is “okay.”  It’s odd.  Does this ever happen to you?

Then I remember that I’m an ADULT (sometimes I still feel like a “kid”) and a parent … and it’s my JOB and RIGHT to create whatever life I want for myself … even if this life is different from the “norm” or what my parents did or whatever.  This realization is so … liberating.  One of those “whoa” moments.

My hope for you?  That you go out, embrace newness, embrace beauty, embrace adventure, embrace connection. It’s a surefire way to remember you are ALIVE.

Oh ya, and have a sleigh ride in the snow …

* So, ever have a magical, “sleigh ride in the snow”-type moment?  What was it?  How are you creating these experiences on a regular basis? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.  See you there!

I’m enjoying the sights and sounds of Colorado this week. My family and I are enjoying a getaway … ahhhh.

I find it interesting that when I go away, it takes me a few days to really “get” that I’m not at home anymore.  I really have to work at disconnecting and appreciating all the “newness” around me.  The tendency of my brain is to cling to what I know, to safeness, to comfort, to the “safe” route.  I find it easier, that it requires less effort.  Then I realize it’s also LESS AMAZING than it could be.  So I let go and open to what is.  I explore … become an adventurer … become more ALIVE.

Simply, I embrace the idea: WHEN IN ROME (or in this case, Colorado).

This theme will be rolled out in a series of three posts, three s’s: Spas, sleighs & skis.

SPAS

On Day 4 of our trip, I jumped on the “it’s time to really relax” train, hired a babysitter for a few hours, and headed to the spa for some “Jenny Time.”  Yay.

Many women (moms especially) find it hard to give themselves permission for a break.  I’ve got 3 words for you that will change your life: Take. A. Break. You will come back to your life more energized, passionate, and ready to be your BEST.  Trust me.

I started my “me time” with a 60-minute yoga class overlooking the snow-capped mountains and beautiful, lush pine trees.  Magically, my mind started to slow down and become quiet. I connected with my breath and allowed myself to just BE.  My body was moving to the music.  My muscles were stretching, melting, softening.  I could hear my heart beating, feel it pulsing.  I felt an immediate connection with the fellow women in the room, with the teacher, with myself.  I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Savasana (final relaxation) was a TREAT.  I felt my body being totally supported by the earth.  There was nothing I had to do, nowhere I had to go.   How … liberating.

After class was over, I thanked the teacher … and walked down the bamboo-lined hallway (pictured above) to change into a plush robe and comfy slippers and hang out in the relaxation room of the spa.  Here, I drank yummy tea and started leafing through an amazing book by supermodel Christy Turlington – “Living Yoga: Creating a Life Practice.”  Inspiring and moving.  I was immediately taken in by the foreword:

“Eastern Philosophy says that human beings have forgotten what they came here for.  With all the stimulation outside of ourselves, we have lost sight of the Beloved, our creator, and have lost ourselves as a result.

I truly believe that we have the answers within us, but it takes incredible discipline and hard work to gain back those abandoned gifts we were given as a birthright.”

As I was getting deeper and deeper into the book, my name was called.  Time for my 80-minute body treatment to reconnect with myself, time for quiet, stillness.

I entered the candle-lit room, undressed, lay on the massage table face down and put my faith in the hands of my gifted healer Theresa.  As my skin was exfoliated with red clover, I imagined old stuff, negative energy, and things that I’d outgrown being scrubbed away.  Freedom.

My body was then wrapped in foil and warm towels were placed on top of me.  I felt like I was a caterpillar wrapped in a cocoon … preparing to emerge as a butterfly. My mind drifted … and I was totally relaxed.  This feeling is priceless.

I then stood under a shower that was more like a cleansing, warm rain from above … and allowed all that old stuff to wash away.  Peace.

Back on the table I went for a nourishing mountain honey body mask.  My skin was so receptive to the moisture, to the freshness that was being massaged into my body.  Wonder.

When my treatment came to an end, an amazing thing happened: I felt reborn.

Thanks, Colorado.  Thanks, Spa Anjali for the divine offering.

* So … what are your experiences with getting to a place of stillness, quiet … and eventual rebirth?  How do spas, treatments, massages play a role in your self-care? Share your stories and thoughts in the comment section below.  See you there!

So, I’m going through a tough time right now. I won’t go into what my particular challenge is during this blog post, but suffice it to say I am learning a great lesson.

And sometimes learning BLOWS. It can really shake you at your core, make you question all that you know to be true.

In times of challenge, my mind is in overdrive. It takes everything I have to stop, focus, meditate, do yoga.  Then I remember that I’m a wife and a mother and a coach … and my job is to be PRESENT for my family and my clients.  So I deal with my stuff when I can … and show up for the important people in my life.  But I won’t lie … it’s not always easy.  Often it’s really, really hard.

The monkey mind doesn’t want to be quiet.  It’s my job to tame it.

It’s a process.

What helps me through the process?  Signs.

Yes, I’ve been keeping my eyes open for signs to keep me committed to my path.

One sign I saw today?  A poem in my son’s room that has served me so well in times of struggle.  This poem hangs on a magnetic board in his bedroom … and today it caught my eye at just the right time.

“Tread in solitude your pathway

Quiet heart and undismayed

You will know things strange, mysterious

Which to you no voice has said

While the crowd of petty hustlers

Grasps at vain and meager things

You will see a great world rising

Where soft, sacred music rings

Leave the dusty road to others,

Spotless keep your soul and bright

As the radiant ocean’s surface

When the sun is taking flight.”

Love that.  Thank you to V. Schoffel for writing such poignant, fitting words.

After I saw that poem, I carried on my way … and received another sign that spoke to exactly what I was experiencing.  I keep meditation cards in my bedroom (they are really cool).  Each card has a picture of a buddha, deity or bodhisattva on it with a message on the back.  My card today?  Dorje Drolo (pictured above).  The message is awesome.  I now love Dorje Drolo.

Here is what his card says about him.  What a guy …

“Dorje Drolo portrays a wrathful form of Padmasambhava as a demon subduer.  He rides upon a pregnant tigress that symbolizes the strength and knowledge that are latent in everybody.

Padmasambhava took this form in order to subdue the demons that were troubling the people of Tibet.  Mounted on the back of his consort, who had transformed herself into a flying tigress, he appeared in a place called the Tiger’s Lair.

Before leaving Tibet he buried a number of teachings that will be discovered at a time when the world is in need of revelation.”

The tip on the card: “At the start of a sneeze, during fright, in anxiety, in extreme curiosity, in hunger – be uninterruptedly aware.”

Hope that’s as helpful for you as it is for me.

Another tool I find SO crucial in getting me through tough times is remembering that I am seeing things exactly as they are.  I can assign any value to a situation that I like.   If I feel free, I am free.  If I feel bound, I am bound.  It’s up to me to decide.  Love that.  Reminds you that you’re in control.  (Thanks to my fabulous meditation teacher Jason Lamberth for giving me these tools.  Here’s a cool video via Jonathan Fields’s Career Renegade TV on the awesomeness that is Jason.)

My final action for getting unstuck?  Writing.  Getting my thoughts out on paper.  It’s really cathartic.  So thanks to YOU for allowing me to share, connect, grow, be.  You have no idea how much it means to me.

Now I’m curious … what helps you through the dark moments? Share your comments here.  Let’s help each other out.

I’ve been in somewhat of a fog since returning home from Ali Brown’s amazing SHINE event in Las Vegas.   Sure, part of me achieved brilliant clarity, but another part of me was thrown for a loop emotionally, spiritually and physically.  (What can I say? I’m a Gemini.) Being tossed around is a good thing though … means I’m alive … and kicking.

People keep asking me when I’ll blog about my trip.  This post has been percolating in my head for days.  I’ve just been waiting for the right time to sit down and write.  As a work-at-home mom balancing business, motherhood, marriage and me, finding time to THINK and WRITE is often my biggest challenge … and most amazing self-discovery process.  I LOVE writing.  My heart sparkles when I write.  Know what I mean?

In addition to adjusting to jet-lag, I’ve been reading the beautiful, poignant, provocative summaries from my fellow SHINY women (like Alexis Martin Neely, Elizabeth Potts Weinstein and Leesa Barnes) and trying to learn from their experiences while keeping my experience, well, mine.  I have to admit, sometimes I’m intimidated by more senior, successful women … and think they must have more answers than I do.  So I check in with myself regularly and remember that my biggest teacher is myself. Then I remind myself that “success” can be interpreted LOTS of different ways.

So … how do I summarize 3 days of mind-blowing connections, content and growth? My top 10 a-ha’s from SHINE:

1. Clarity attracts $$

Want to make more money?  Get clear about what you do and who you serve.  If it takes you more than 10 seconds to explain your business to a stranger, you’re muddy.   Be crystal clear about your mission.  Don’t assume ANYTHING.  People have very short attention spans.  It’s your job to make “getting” your business and knowing how to work with you EASY.

2. Want bigger results?  Get a flip chart

Okay, this may seem funny, but it’s not a joke.  How can you think big and map out your grand plan on an 8.5 x 11 piece of paper (or on your computer screen)?  Our minds want to explore and play and draw.  Invite your creative muse for a flip chart adventure.  I’ve never had a flip chart in my biz (used them in the corporate world all the time) … until now.   Genius!

3. Listen for clues

If you want to hone in on your niche or create new offerings, become a detective.  Listen for clues.  People are telling you what they want and what would make their lives better all the time.   You’ve got a focus group brewing right under your nose.  Listen, learn, take action.

4. My purpose + my business’ purpose are not the same

Prior to SHINE, I seriously thought my purpose and my business’ purpose were one and the same.  Not so.  My purpose is to inspire and empower women (through coaching, support groups, and the written word).  My business’ purpose is to make money.  It’s really that simple.  My business is the vehicle for allowing me to live my purpose.  My goal for 2010: allow my business to fulfill its potential … while inspiring an amazing group of passionate women and moms.

5. Sometimes you have to go fetal

Inc. 500 CEO Ali Brown shared some fascinating news: she cries every day.  I would have thought a successful woman like her is too strong to cry that often.  I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to hear her share her vulnerability with us.  Her tip: sometimes you have to go fetal.  Sometimes you’ve gotta curl up in a ball and feel the fear.  Thanks for giving me permission to be soft, feminine and real.  The next time I’m scared, I’ll allow the fear to flow through me instead of resisting the feeling.

Growth is often uncomfortable and inconvenient.  Write that down.  It’s huge.

6. If you want to go up, you gotta show up

Want to move to the next level in business and life?  Don’t shrink.  Show up … consistently.  Share your truth, walk your walk, just do it.  I’ll take it a step further and say that it’s more than just showing up.  It’s then following up and following through.

7. ADD is good

Increase your impact and efficiency (and stop driving yourself crazy):

A = automate

D = delegate

D = delete

Automate tasks that can be.  Delegate tasks that don’t allow you to create and drive growth (think about hiring a Virtual Assistant NOW.  My pal Donna Toothaker’s company is a great resource). Delete tasks that don’t support your vision and mission.  There are things you are doing now that can be eliminated immediately … freeing you up for more valuable pursuits.

8. Don’t go for correctness, go for connection

If you’re waiting for perfection before you launch your business, introduce a new offering, approach someone about a joint venture, you’ll be waiting forever.  Don’t overthink. All you have to do is connect.  Speak to your customers, clients, potential partners as if they are real people (they are!).  That is all.

9. Fake it ‘til you make it

A lot has been said in other SHINE wrap-ups about some of the uber-successful keynote speakers “lying” to get ahead.  Some people had an issue about these lies.  I did not.  And I’m a woman who values honesty.  So why didn’t I get upset about these “lies”?  I saw them as white lies (i.e. no one was hurt in the process).  Some of the most successful people  (men and women) in the world “acted as if” to achieve their vision.  They saw opportunity and jumped on it.  No harm, no foul.

10. Mentors make the difference

I’ve been looking for a mentor for a long time … and now I know WHY.  Mentors, coaches, guides are the KEY to your success.  You can be a woman with TONS of moxie and know-how, but nothing will fast-track your growth (personal and business) like someone who believes in you, gets you, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and helps hold you accountable.

11. Get in the hot seat

(I got so excited while writing … and couldn’t keep my a-ha’s to just 10.)

I had the pleasure of getting selected by Ali and James Roche for the HOT SEAT at SHINE (pictured in this post).  Lucky me.  I had a LIVE BUSINESS MAKEOVER on-stage in front of the entire audience.  I never would have been picked if I hadn’t applied for the opportunity … and I wrote my application FULLY believing I would be picked.  I wanted it that bad.  What an experience … a full recap is another blog post in the making.  (I got so many ideas, connections and good energy after my hot seat experience.  It was SO worth taking that leap.)

The point here is you’ve gotta strap yourself in to your own hot seat on a daily basis.  Put yourself out there.  Get feedback.  Synthesize and get moving.

GRATITUDE

Special thanks to Ali for sharing her energy and vision with the world.  She’s playing big and it shows.  She exemplifies her brand and reminds us all to be our brand, be ourselves, be our best.  Ali’s ability to attract such amazingly talented women (and some cool guys, too!) is a gift to entrepreneurs.

My deepest gratitude to everyone at SHINE.  There was a reason I was compelled to attend this event (I even sold my wedding dress to help fund my trip).  YOU are the reason why I was pulled.

Let’s keep doing this.  Let’s keep rockin’. Why?  You know why.  And if you ever get frustrated and scared and think about quitting … just remember this one reason:

So we don’t have to get a J-O-B (as raw food coach Karen Knowler so eloquently says in her fab British accent).

xoxo

Jenny