Today, on the day that we celebrate the powerful man who encourages us to DREAM, Martin Luther King, Jr., I was given a great gift by an old friend.  This gift wasn’t material in nature or an experience of any sort, rather it was a REMINDER of the importance of MAKING YOUR DAYS COUNT.

My friend shared with me a poem called DREAM BIG.  He shared this with me after watching a video I made and posted to Facebook about my son’s first year on earth.  (You can watch the video here.  Note it was my FIRST time playing with iMovie … and give the program two thumbs up for novices like me.  If you are thinking of making a movie, do it!  It’s very user friendly and you’ll be amazed by your creation.)

The last scene of the video was the message: DREAM BIG (words on a shirt [pictured above] given to my son by another amazing friend Kelly Newsome.  I have great friends!).  This 2-second clip inspired him to share these amazing words with me … which then inspired me to share them with you. Don’t you just love the domino effect of sharing?

This is what life is about, folks … spreading ideas worth sharing. Standing up for what you believe in.  Having the audacity to hope, to dream, to take a stand, to hold people up, to encourage people to LIVE the LIFE that they dream about, to inspire yourSELF to live a life that you are deeply, madly, passionately in love with.

And there will be naysayers out there who challenge you, who want to hold you back, who are nervous about you having a larger vision of yourself, of humanity, of the world.  They’ll ask WHY?

When they tell you it can’t be done, that you’ll fail, that there is NO way, what will you do?  I encourage you to muster up your strength, courage, vision and passion and say: Watch me.

Dream big. Trust. Persist. Do it right.

I share this poem with you, passed on to me from my old pal from New Smyrna Beach High School Patrick Heaton.  Thanks, friend.  And my deepest gratitude to Dr. King for continuing to remind us that ANYTHING is possible.

DREAM BIG

If there were ever a time to dare,
To make a difference
To embark on something worth doing
It is now.
Not for any grand cause, necessarily –
But for something that tugs at your heart
Something that is worth your aspiration
Something that is your dream.
You owe it to yourself
To make your days count.
Have fun. Dig deep. Stretch.

Dream big.

Know, though,
That things worth doing
Seldom come easy,
There will be times when you want to
Turn around
Pack it up and call it quits
Those times tell you
That you are pushing yourself
And that you are not afraid to learn by trying.

Persist.

Because with an idea,
Determination and the right tools,
You can do great things.
Let your instincts, your intellect
And let your heart guide you.

Trust.

Believe in the incredible power
Of the human mind
Of doing something that makes a difference
Of working hard
Of laughing and hoping
Of lasting friends
Of all the things that will cross your path
Next year
The start of something new
Brings the hope of something great.
Anything is possible
There is only one you
And you will pass this way but once.

Do it right.

-Author unknown

** Dear reader, how will YOU dream big today?  How are you making TODAY count?  Please share in the comments section below.  See you there! **

Today marks the first anniversary of the most painful, excruciating and fantastic experience of my life: the birth of my son Sean.

As we celebrated a huge milestone in his life – one year on earth – I couldn’t help but go back in time to one year ago.  Labor pains have a way of staying with you … and I went back to that cold January day in 2009 when I scaled the biggest mountain possible: natural childbirth.

The whole experience for me was a lesson in setting my intention, preparing, getting my support team in place, creating my vision, and then surrendering.

Childbirth is the most humbling, primal experience. It’s the great equalizer.  It brings you to your knees and forces you to come face to face with your biggest fears.  It forces you to go inside yourself and muster up all of your strength, all of your fortitude … and have ROCK-SOLID faith in your body and in your baby.

That’s what happened for me … I moved mountains.  I surrendered to the experience and rode the waves of the pain, rode the waves of my contractions to get one step closer to meeting my child.

But surrendering was not my approach at first. What was my initial reaction once the contractions quickly went from “ouch” to “WTF”?  FEAR, FEAR, FEAR! I was freaking out that there was no way in HELL that I could handle this.  All of my preparation and vision and years of yoga training went flying out the window.  I felt like I was holding on for dear life.  I distinctly remember looking at my husband and saying: “I don’t know if I can do this.”  I felt very alone, very vulnerable, very much in over my head.

And just when my mind was shifting into massive overdrive, I LET GO.  I gave in … and started really TRUSTING my body, TRUSTING my baby, TRUSTING that I had EVERYTHING I needed to bring my child into the world EXACTLY the way I wanted to.

By the time we made it back to the hospital (I was sent home earlier that day when I thought my water had broken and told that the baby may not be ready for days), I was fully dilated (the hardest part – transition – was over!) and ready to push my baby out.  This little one was ready to enter the world, 2.5 weeks earlier than expected.

I remember the whole pushing part of labor SO well.  My doctor wanted me to push my baby out rather quickly because his heart rate was dropping during contractions.  With all of the hoopla of rushing to the hospital and getting a room in the birthing center and dealing with the most excruciating pain I had EVER experienced, I kind of wasn’t ready to push that intensely.  I wanted a break, but I did like I was told but knew it wasn’t enough to help this soul enter the world.

After about three rounds of pushing, I remember my doctor looking at me in the eye and saying, very seriously: “Jenny, on your next contraction you’re pushing your baby out.”  I knew she meant business … and so did I.

I gathered up EVERY ounce of strength in my body, soul, mind and made a conscious choice to GO TO THE PEAK of the steep, scary mountain … and enter into the magical, wild world of motherhood.  There was no turning back.  Old life over, new life is here.

At 10:51 p.m. on Monday, January 5, 2009, my son Sean Logan Fenig took his first breath … and took my breath away. He was so … beautiful, peaceful, full of love, full of energy.   He was – and is – amazing.  He is a gift from God.

A few hours later,  after the doctors, nurses and doulas had left, it was just my husband, my son and I.  Our new family.  As my husband and newborn son slept soundly next to me, I was wide awake thinking about the miracle that happened in our room.  Mindblowing.  Otherworldly.  I looked out at the moonlit New York City sky and heard a voice loud and clear in my mind say: “Life will never be the same.”

So. True.

Happy birthday, sweet Sean. Together, we move mountains.

**Dear reader, wishing you the gift of strength and fortitude as you climb the mountains of life.  Where do you find your deepest strength during your toughest moments?  Please share.**

I was cleaning out my son’s closet today and filled a few bags worth of clothes he’s outgrown. He’ll be one (!) next week and we go through this cleansing process every few months.  It’s amazing to see this little person growing before my eyes.

Cleaning out his closet is wonderfully cathartic.  The act of letting go of things that don’t fit anymore to make room for stuff that does is POWERFUL.

As my one year anniversary of being a mom draws near, I get more and more convinced that everything I need to know I’m learning from my son. Point in case: shedding things – ideas, people, jobs, attitudes, homes, clothes – that we’ve outgrown.

Just like kids grow out of clothes and toys and interests, so do adults. This is often weird and confusing.  We may cling to what we know, what’s comfortable, what used to work.  We may struggle to pinpoint what exactly changed.

It may take us some time (and the ability to look back … when the time is right) to get some clarity, to heal, to accept WHAT IS.  The point is: what worked in the past simply doesn’t work anymore because we’ve changed. We’ve grown.  This is OKAY.  This is MORE than okay.  This is awesome.  Reminds you that you’re ALIVE … and EVOLVING.  Do you really still want to be that awkward kid you were in middle school?  I know I don’t.

Feeling grief, sadness and nostalgic about letting old stuff go is normal … it’s part of the healing process. I like to look back on my past jobs, friends, ex-boyfriends, cities, drama, wild adventures with gratitude for the valuable part they played in my life.

As for how I’ve processed the most painful experience of my life so far – the death of my younger sister Julie when she was 12 and I was 16 – well, I’ve come to accept that life isn’t always long and life isn’t always fair. Julie taught me so much about living … and that I’m LUCKY – damn lucky – to be here. We all are.  You better believe that I’m making this life count.  She’d want it that way … and she’s pulling for me.  I can feel her everyday.  Ya, I’ve got an angel in my corner. (That’s us at the top of this post in matching bathing suits that we’ve long outgrown!)

It’s taken me a long time to get to this point of gratitude (and I’m not saying I never fall in the tempting trap of “why did that happen to me?”), but for the most part, I’m grateful and accepting.  I KNOW with every fiber of my being that my experiences – good, bad, fabulous, painful – got me to this point I happily call MY LIFE.

** As we head into a new decade, take some time to think about what you’ve outgrown, what you’re ready to take out of your closet and put away for GOOD.  Then ask yourself, what new stuff, experiences, attitudes are you making room for?

Here’s to rocking it out in 2010.  I’m rooting for you.  So is Julie.

I was 28 the first time I put on snow skis.  I “learned” to ski on man-made ice in the  Poconos of Pennsylvania.

When I went to Aspen two years ago, I learned why skiing out west is different – A LOT different – than skiing out east.  I’ll break it down to the difference between powder and ice.  Powder is awesome.  It looks like glitter when the sun is reflecting off it.  Plus it hurts a whole lot less than ice when you fall.  Another reason I prefer west coast skiing?  When I’m out west I just feel like I’m more on vacation since I’m farther from my New York City home.

So, when my family embarked on our Colorado adventure to Avon/Beaver Creek (near Vail) earlier this month, I knew skiing would be part of my experience (that’s me and my husband Steven pictured above before we rode the gondola to the ski lift).  I was excited … and a bit nervous because I consider myself a beginner and know I have a lot to learn.

Being a beginner is humbling. You’re on your butt a lot.  You’re not quite sure what to do with all of the directions swimming around in your head.   You’re out of your element.  You’re kinda freaking out. You’re mostly surrounded by people who are much better than you (including LOTS of 5-year-old kids who fly down the mountain with no fear and no poles!).  And there are times when you want to give up.

In the midst of it all, I had a major revelation:

Skiing is an extreme metaphor for life. The lessons are amazingly relevant for showing up and playing big.

Here are my top 9 lessons learned from When in Rome (or Colorado): SKIING EDITION.  Enjoy …

1. A guide makes the journey much easier

I fell on my butt about 5 times during my ski adventure.  And all of the those falls were when I was skiing on my own … and NOT with my ski instructors.  Now I’m not saying that falling is bad (it’s a great way to learn), but working with guides can make your journey much more powerful and enjoyable and much less scary. Even really advanced skiers often work with ski instructors to help them strengthen their skills and become even better.  Who’s guiding you?

2. Wave to the people

This was one of the cues my ski instructor gave me to help me remember which pole to lift during a turn.  I was having a really hard time remembering the pole instructions (right and left seem to blend when I’m skiing fast and freezing!) until he came up with this easy concept.  All of the sudden the idea clicked and I wrapped my head around the instruction.

If you’re grappling with something, come up with a way to make it easy for your mind to absorb it.  We all have different learning styles, experiment with what works for you.

3. Be prepared: The right gear is crucial

“There is no bad weather, just bad clothing choices.”  I heard this on my journey and I have to agree (especially as the tips of my fingers felt like they might fall off until I put hand warmers in my gloves!).  No matter what your situation, be prepared.  Don’t complain about the things you can’t control … focus on the things that you can.  Use your energy in the most constructive, effective way possible.

4. Don’t worry about the people behind you

When skiing, you’re always going to have people coming up behind you and beside you.  While you need to be mindful of your actions, you can’t waste your time worrying what people behind you are doing (or saying about you).  Just do your thing, be respectful, be smart, be brave … and you’ll be fine.

5. Look around, not down

As a beginner, I had a tendency to look DOWN at my skis and miss everything around me, including the cues my body was sending me and the beautiful scenery.  I was afraid to trust my skis and my surroundings.  Once I learned to lift my gaze and start looking around at my total environment, I started having fun, letting loose, and … (drum roll, please): SKIING.

Play around with shifting your perspective.  What do you see?

6. Chocolate makes things better

Beaver Creek Resort has an awesome tradition that I can’t wait to experience again: warm chocolate chip cookies distributed by chefs (for free!) at the bottom of the ski slopes every afternoon.  I’m telling you … people were on Cloud 9 after these treats.  What I found so endearing is how much these treats were loved by people of all ages.  They were a great connector … and a great brand builder by the resort.  Chocolate = happiness.  This savvy branding technique will bring people back for more and make the resort town stand out in people’s minds.

What’s your brand (personal or business)?  How are you building connections with your tribe?

7. Rest at the end of the day

There’s nothing better than taking your ski boots off at the end of a great day on the slopes.  You feel such a sense of accomplishment.  When you work hard and really push yourself, you’ve earned a break.  Take it.  Rest is important to playing big.  Protecting your downtime is essential in creating a kick-ass life.

8. It’s never too late to start

Think you’ve missed the boat because you’re ____ years old (fill in the blank) and haven’t tried so-and-so or pursued a passion?  Think again.   That is one of the biggest excuses (and travesties!) holding you back from living a life full of passion and adventure.  Today is a perfect day to start.  If not now, when?

9. A family that plays together stays together

Play, play, and play some more!  For us Fenigs, ski trips are now a part of our annual winter experience.  I didn’t go on ski trips as a kid so these trips as an adult are somewhat out of my comfort zone, but I’m loving it.  Growth can be quite uncomfortable at times … but so freaking exciting.

Create family traditions that are uniquely yours. Children and adults can come to look forward to these regular occurrences.  There is a comfort, a clarity, a sense of security that comes from traditions that you create and protect.

You’re in charge.  How cool is that?

* So, I’m curious … which one of these lessons resonated most with you?  Which one are you most excited to play around with?  Join the discussion below.  See you there!

Let the Colorado fun continue …

On the evening of Day 5 of our family adventure, we had the quintessential holiday experience in snowy Colorado: a horse-drawn sleigh ride.  It. Was. Magical.

Imagine, pulling up to a wooden and stone lodge glistening with twinkle lights and full of holiday spirit.  Then, being greeted by the host of the lovely restaurant and led to the bar for a cup of hot apple cider.  Yum.

Gorgeous Christmas tree at the Timber Hearth Lodge

While drinking your cider, you walk outside to a roaring fire in the fire pit.  You meet your fellow sleigh riding companions … and hop onto the red and green sleigh for the ride of your dreams.

Now I know why there are holiday songs with odes to “one-horse open sleighs.”  Being pulled around the hills of Colorado by not one, but TWO amazing horses was nothing short of breathtaking.  These white and brown beauties were the stars of the evening.  Sharing their gifts in such generous ways.

The best part?  Watching my 11-month-old son Sean pet the horses … and seeing his face light up at being around such gentle, powerful creatures.  He was enthralled by the horses … and so was I.  I stopped to pet the long strip between their eyes and nose.  I looked into their big, peaceful eyes.  I thanked them for their service and gentle natures.  I told them how special they are.  I was so grateful to them for giving me a memory that will forever be etched in my mind.

Magic moment

I find that there are moments in time that are so beautiful, so pure, so magical that I sometimes ask myself if I’m “allowed” to be having this much fun … if I’m allowed to be this happy … this lucky … this free.  Like I have to ask someone if what I’m doing is “okay.”  It’s odd.  Does this ever happen to you?

Then I remember that I’m an ADULT (sometimes I still feel like a “kid”) and a parent … and it’s my JOB and RIGHT to create whatever life I want for myself … even if this life is different from the “norm” or what my parents did or whatever.  This realization is so … liberating.  One of those “whoa” moments.

My hope for you?  That you go out, embrace newness, embrace beauty, embrace adventure, embrace connection. It’s a surefire way to remember you are ALIVE.

Oh ya, and have a sleigh ride in the snow …

* So, ever have a magical, “sleigh ride in the snow”-type moment?  What was it?  How are you creating these experiences on a regular basis? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.  See you there!

I’m enjoying the sights and sounds of Colorado this week. My family and I are enjoying a getaway … ahhhh.

I find it interesting that when I go away, it takes me a few days to really “get” that I’m not at home anymore.  I really have to work at disconnecting and appreciating all the “newness” around me.  The tendency of my brain is to cling to what I know, to safeness, to comfort, to the “safe” route.  I find it easier, that it requires less effort.  Then I realize it’s also LESS AMAZING than it could be.  So I let go and open to what is.  I explore … become an adventurer … become more ALIVE.

Simply, I embrace the idea: WHEN IN ROME (or in this case, Colorado).

This theme will be rolled out in a series of three posts, three s’s: Spas, sleighs & skis.

SPAS

On Day 4 of our trip, I jumped on the “it’s time to really relax” train, hired a babysitter for a few hours, and headed to the spa for some “Jenny Time.”  Yay.

Many women (moms especially) find it hard to give themselves permission for a break.  I’ve got 3 words for you that will change your life: Take. A. Break. You will come back to your life more energized, passionate, and ready to be your BEST.  Trust me.

I started my “me time” with a 60-minute yoga class overlooking the snow-capped mountains and beautiful, lush pine trees.  Magically, my mind started to slow down and become quiet. I connected with my breath and allowed myself to just BE.  My body was moving to the music.  My muscles were stretching, melting, softening.  I could hear my heart beating, feel it pulsing.  I felt an immediate connection with the fellow women in the room, with the teacher, with myself.  I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Savasana (final relaxation) was a TREAT.  I felt my body being totally supported by the earth.  There was nothing I had to do, nowhere I had to go.   How … liberating.

After class was over, I thanked the teacher … and walked down the bamboo-lined hallway (pictured above) to change into a plush robe and comfy slippers and hang out in the relaxation room of the spa.  Here, I drank yummy tea and started leafing through an amazing book by supermodel Christy Turlington – “Living Yoga: Creating a Life Practice.”  Inspiring and moving.  I was immediately taken in by the foreword:

“Eastern Philosophy says that human beings have forgotten what they came here for.  With all the stimulation outside of ourselves, we have lost sight of the Beloved, our creator, and have lost ourselves as a result.

I truly believe that we have the answers within us, but it takes incredible discipline and hard work to gain back those abandoned gifts we were given as a birthright.”

As I was getting deeper and deeper into the book, my name was called.  Time for my 80-minute body treatment to reconnect with myself, time for quiet, stillness.

I entered the candle-lit room, undressed, lay on the massage table face down and put my faith in the hands of my gifted healer Theresa.  As my skin was exfoliated with red clover, I imagined old stuff, negative energy, and things that I’d outgrown being scrubbed away.  Freedom.

My body was then wrapped in foil and warm towels were placed on top of me.  I felt like I was a caterpillar wrapped in a cocoon … preparing to emerge as a butterfly. My mind drifted … and I was totally relaxed.  This feeling is priceless.

I then stood under a shower that was more like a cleansing, warm rain from above … and allowed all that old stuff to wash away.  Peace.

Back on the table I went for a nourishing mountain honey body mask.  My skin was so receptive to the moisture, to the freshness that was being massaged into my body.  Wonder.

When my treatment came to an end, an amazing thing happened: I felt reborn.

Thanks, Colorado.  Thanks, Spa Anjali for the divine offering.

* So … what are your experiences with getting to a place of stillness, quiet … and eventual rebirth?  How do spas, treatments, massages play a role in your self-care? Share your stories and thoughts in the comment section below.  See you there!

So, I’m going through a tough time right now. I won’t go into what my particular challenge is during this blog post, but suffice it to say I am learning a great lesson.

And sometimes learning BLOWS. It can really shake you at your core, make you question all that you know to be true.

In times of challenge, my mind is in overdrive. It takes everything I have to stop, focus, meditate, do yoga.  Then I remember that I’m a wife and a mother and a coach … and my job is to be PRESENT for my family and my clients.  So I deal with my stuff when I can … and show up for the important people in my life.  But I won’t lie … it’s not always easy.  Often it’s really, really hard.

The monkey mind doesn’t want to be quiet.  It’s my job to tame it.

It’s a process.

What helps me through the process?  Signs.

Yes, I’ve been keeping my eyes open for signs to keep me committed to my path.

One sign I saw today?  A poem in my son’s room that has served me so well in times of struggle.  This poem hangs on a magnetic board in his bedroom … and today it caught my eye at just the right time.

“Tread in solitude your pathway

Quiet heart and undismayed

You will know things strange, mysterious

Which to you no voice has said

While the crowd of petty hustlers

Grasps at vain and meager things

You will see a great world rising

Where soft, sacred music rings

Leave the dusty road to others,

Spotless keep your soul and bright

As the radiant ocean’s surface

When the sun is taking flight.”

Love that.  Thank you to V. Schoffel for writing such poignant, fitting words.

After I saw that poem, I carried on my way … and received another sign that spoke to exactly what I was experiencing.  I keep meditation cards in my bedroom (they are really cool).  Each card has a picture of a buddha, deity or bodhisattva on it with a message on the back.  My card today?  Dorje Drolo (pictured above).  The message is awesome.  I now love Dorje Drolo.

Here is what his card says about him.  What a guy …

“Dorje Drolo portrays a wrathful form of Padmasambhava as a demon subduer.  He rides upon a pregnant tigress that symbolizes the strength and knowledge that are latent in everybody.

Padmasambhava took this form in order to subdue the demons that were troubling the people of Tibet.  Mounted on the back of his consort, who had transformed herself into a flying tigress, he appeared in a place called the Tiger’s Lair.

Before leaving Tibet he buried a number of teachings that will be discovered at a time when the world is in need of revelation.”

The tip on the card: “At the start of a sneeze, during fright, in anxiety, in extreme curiosity, in hunger – be uninterruptedly aware.”

Hope that’s as helpful for you as it is for me.

Another tool I find SO crucial in getting me through tough times is remembering that I am seeing things exactly as they are.  I can assign any value to a situation that I like.   If I feel free, I am free.  If I feel bound, I am bound.  It’s up to me to decide.  Love that.  Reminds you that you’re in control.  (Thanks to my fabulous meditation teacher Jason Lamberth for giving me these tools.  Here’s a cool video via Jonathan Fields’s Career Renegade TV on the awesomeness that is Jason.)

My final action for getting unstuck?  Writing.  Getting my thoughts out on paper.  It’s really cathartic.  So thanks to YOU for allowing me to share, connect, grow, be.  You have no idea how much it means to me.

Now I’m curious … what helps you through the dark moments? Share your comments here.  Let’s help each other out.

I’ve been in somewhat of a fog since returning home from Ali Brown’s amazing SHINE event in Las Vegas.   Sure, part of me achieved brilliant clarity, but another part of me was thrown for a loop emotionally, spiritually and physically.  (What can I say? I’m a Gemini.) Being tossed around is a good thing though … means I’m alive … and kicking.

People keep asking me when I’ll blog about my trip.  This post has been percolating in my head for days.  I’ve just been waiting for the right time to sit down and write.  As a work-at-home mom balancing business, motherhood, marriage and me, finding time to THINK and WRITE is often my biggest challenge … and most amazing self-discovery process.  I LOVE writing.  My heart sparkles when I write.  Know what I mean?

In addition to adjusting to jet-lag, I’ve been reading the beautiful, poignant, provocative summaries from my fellow SHINY women (like Alexis Martin Neely, Elizabeth Potts Weinstein and Leesa Barnes) and trying to learn from their experiences while keeping my experience, well, mine.  I have to admit, sometimes I’m intimidated by more senior, successful women … and think they must have more answers than I do.  So I check in with myself regularly and remember that my biggest teacher is myself. Then I remind myself that “success” can be interpreted LOTS of different ways.

So … how do I summarize 3 days of mind-blowing connections, content and growth? My top 10 a-ha’s from SHINE:

1. Clarity attracts $$

Want to make more money?  Get clear about what you do and who you serve.  If it takes you more than 10 seconds to explain your business to a stranger, you’re muddy.   Be crystal clear about your mission.  Don’t assume ANYTHING.  People have very short attention spans.  It’s your job to make “getting” your business and knowing how to work with you EASY.

2. Want bigger results?  Get a flip chart

Okay, this may seem funny, but it’s not a joke.  How can you think big and map out your grand plan on an 8.5 x 11 piece of paper (or on your computer screen)?  Our minds want to explore and play and draw.  Invite your creative muse for a flip chart adventure.  I’ve never had a flip chart in my biz (used them in the corporate world all the time) … until now.   Genius!

3. Listen for clues

If you want to hone in on your niche or create new offerings, become a detective.  Listen for clues.  People are telling you what they want and what would make their lives better all the time.   You’ve got a focus group brewing right under your nose.  Listen, learn, take action.

4. My purpose + my business’ purpose are not the same

Prior to SHINE, I seriously thought my purpose and my business’ purpose were one and the same.  Not so.  My purpose is to inspire and empower women (through coaching, support groups, and the written word).  My business’ purpose is to make money.  It’s really that simple.  My business is the vehicle for allowing me to live my purpose.  My goal for 2010: allow my business to fulfill its potential … while inspiring an amazing group of passionate women and moms.

5. Sometimes you have to go fetal

Inc. 500 CEO Ali Brown shared some fascinating news: she cries every day.  I would have thought a successful woman like her is too strong to cry that often.  I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to hear her share her vulnerability with us.  Her tip: sometimes you have to go fetal.  Sometimes you’ve gotta curl up in a ball and feel the fear.  Thanks for giving me permission to be soft, feminine and real.  The next time I’m scared, I’ll allow the fear to flow through me instead of resisting the feeling.

Growth is often uncomfortable and inconvenient.  Write that down.  It’s huge.

6. If you want to go up, you gotta show up

Want to move to the next level in business and life?  Don’t shrink.  Show up … consistently.  Share your truth, walk your walk, just do it.  I’ll take it a step further and say that it’s more than just showing up.  It’s then following up and following through.

7. ADD is good

Increase your impact and efficiency (and stop driving yourself crazy):

A = automate

D = delegate

D = delete

Automate tasks that can be.  Delegate tasks that don’t allow you to create and drive growth (think about hiring a Virtual Assistant NOW.  My pal Donna Toothaker’s company is a great resource). Delete tasks that don’t support your vision and mission.  There are things you are doing now that can be eliminated immediately … freeing you up for more valuable pursuits.

8. Don’t go for correctness, go for connection

If you’re waiting for perfection before you launch your business, introduce a new offering, approach someone about a joint venture, you’ll be waiting forever.  Don’t overthink. All you have to do is connect.  Speak to your customers, clients, potential partners as if they are real people (they are!).  That is all.

9. Fake it ‘til you make it

A lot has been said in other SHINE wrap-ups about some of the uber-successful keynote speakers “lying” to get ahead.  Some people had an issue about these lies.  I did not.  And I’m a woman who values honesty.  So why didn’t I get upset about these “lies”?  I saw them as white lies (i.e. no one was hurt in the process).  Some of the most successful people  (men and women) in the world “acted as if” to achieve their vision.  They saw opportunity and jumped on it.  No harm, no foul.

10. Mentors make the difference

I’ve been looking for a mentor for a long time … and now I know WHY.  Mentors, coaches, guides are the KEY to your success.  You can be a woman with TONS of moxie and know-how, but nothing will fast-track your growth (personal and business) like someone who believes in you, gets you, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and helps hold you accountable.

11. Get in the hot seat

(I got so excited while writing … and couldn’t keep my a-ha’s to just 10.)

I had the pleasure of getting selected by Ali and James Roche for the HOT SEAT at SHINE (pictured in this post).  Lucky me.  I had a LIVE BUSINESS MAKEOVER on-stage in front of the entire audience.  I never would have been picked if I hadn’t applied for the opportunity … and I wrote my application FULLY believing I would be picked.  I wanted it that bad.  What an experience … a full recap is another blog post in the making.  (I got so many ideas, connections and good energy after my hot seat experience.  It was SO worth taking that leap.)

The point here is you’ve gotta strap yourself in to your own hot seat on a daily basis.  Put yourself out there.  Get feedback.  Synthesize and get moving.

GRATITUDE

Special thanks to Ali for sharing her energy and vision with the world.  She’s playing big and it shows.  She exemplifies her brand and reminds us all to be our brand, be ourselves, be our best.  Ali’s ability to attract such amazingly talented women (and some cool guys, too!) is a gift to entrepreneurs.

My deepest gratitude to everyone at SHINE.  There was a reason I was compelled to attend this event (I even sold my wedding dress to help fund my trip).  YOU are the reason why I was pulled.

Let’s keep doing this.  Let’s keep rockin’. Why?  You know why.  And if you ever get frustrated and scared and think about quitting … just remember this one reason:

So we don’t have to get a J-O-B (as raw food coach Karen Knowler so eloquently says in her fab British accent).

xoxo

Jenny

Greetings.  How are you?

So, I’m really excited right now.  Why?  Well, lots of reasons … one of which is that I have the honor of attending an amazing women’s entrepreneur’s conference called SHINE next week in fabulous Las Vegas.  In preparation for my attendance, I am re-reading the legendary “Think & Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  The book is a gift from Ali Brown, SHINE host and uber-successful entrepreneur.

Last night, I was reading the chapter on DESIRE and came across a few sections that jumped off the page.  So true, so real, so … powerful.

The author makes a point about no more effort being required to aim high in life, to demand prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty.  He goes on to share a poem that illustrates this universal truth …

I bargained with Life for a penny

And Life would pay no more,

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer,

He gives you what you ask,

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn, dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have willingly paid.

Wow.  What clarity. Hammers home a few points for me:

• You get what you ask for
• You must have faith in yourself
• If you don’t ask, you don’t get
• Be bold.  Stand up for your life
• Don’t settle or undermine your value

And we’re not just talking about money here.  Sure, money is energy and how we treat money is an analogy for how we treat ourselves, our bodies, and people in our lives.  To take it a step further, this concept of getting what you ask for translates into ALL aspects of life: relationships, health and wellness, career, adventure … the list goes on.

What are you asking for?  What are you accepting as OKAY with you?  Deep down, what feels right?  What feels off?

Be honest with yourself.  You know what you want.  Remove any limiting beliefs about why so-and-so will never work … or why this obstacle will get in your way … or why you will fail.  The surest way to failure is to never start.

One final thought from the book to guide you on your journey as a BELIEVER:

“There is a difference between wishing for a thing and being ready to receive it.  No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it.  The state of mind must be belief, not more hope or wish. Open-mindedness is essential for belief.  Closed minds do not inspire faith, courage or belief.”

FOCUS FOR THE WEEK

Answer these questions …

What do you desire to do?

Who do you desire to be?

How ready are you?

How open are you?

What’s stopping you?

Until next week, believe, believe, believe!  Picture yourself successful.  Act as if you are already that person.  Fake it until you make it. It works.

xoxo

Jenny

Busy much? If you’re like most women, you are running faster and faster just to keep up with the demands of modern living.  How often have you reached the end of the day and not known where the hours have gone?  You blink and poof, the day is done … but you still have lots on your plate and you’re simply exhausted.

The technology that was supposed to make our lives easier, has too often made us tethered to our computers, phones, work and responsibilities.  Many of us have forgotten how to just “be.”

What’s a girl to do?

Good question.

CALL-TO-ACTION ALERT: Right here, right now, I invite you to take a much-needed break from your life. Step away from the to-do list.  I know you’re a busy gal so I promise that our time together will be well spent.  What are we focusing on?  Making time for the most important person in your life: Y-O-U.

“Me,” you may be asking?  Yes, you.

You see, in my work with women, I find that many are suffering from a martyr mentality: the idea that they have to put everyone else’s needs before their own.  Many fall into the trap of trying to be “perfect.” A huge majority are plagued by the g-word: GUILT.

Does this sound familiar?  You’re not alone if you said yes.  You’re also not alone if you’re not as happy as you think you ought to be.

WOMEN & HAPPINESS

With all the strides women have made through the years, you’d think we’d be happier than we were in the past.  Surprisingly, this is not the case.  In fact, a very significant study called the General Social Survey found some startling statistics related to women’s happiness.  The study revealed two pieces of disheartening news:

• Women are less happy than they were 40 years ago, compared with men
• As women get older, they get sadder

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like those findings.  We have a women’s crisis on our hands … and it’s going to take us banding together to right the ship that has gone off course.

Where do we start?  Look in the mirror. It’s time to reignite the relationship you have with yourSELF.

Ready, set, go …

CONNECT: Be still and identify what fills you up as a woman.  Do you love jazz music, modern art, foreign films, marathons, hot baths, knitting, photography, writing?  What makes you come alive?

RELEASE GUILT: Let it go.  Feeling guilty about nurturing yourself is a waste of precious energy.  In fact, guilt and worry are two emotions that will get you nowhere … FAST.

DATE NIGHT: Make a date with yourself to do something you love.  Schedule it in your calendar.  Rest assured, the world will not stop just because you’ve taken a break.

If you find you are consistently overcommitted, exhausted and simply don’t have time for YOU, the next tip will change your life …

LET PEOPLE DOWN (with grace): Disappointing people is one of the most challenging, yet most important, components to living a powerful life. How many times have you agreed to something you did NOT want to do because you were too afraid to say no?  Practice saying “no, thanks” (do it now!).  It gets easier with time.  If it’s challenging to say that 2-letter word, buy time with the magical phrase: “Let me think about it and get back to you.”

FOCUS FOR THE WEEK

• Get out your calendar and schedule a date with yourself.
• Choose an activity that you absolutely love.  Get excited about pursuing your passion.  Stumped?  Think back to when you were a kid.  What made you come alive?  Give yourself permission to explore this side of yourself that has been dormant for a while.  You never know what you’ll discover.
• Clear your life of commitments that don’t fulfill you.  Perhaps you said yes to things that you weren’t so sure about … and now you know you don’t enjoy.  Make a phone call, send an email, call a meeting and bow out.  You’ll be amazed at how your life opens up and your happiness increases when you use your voice to create your ideal existence.

For more tips on embracing your peaceful power, I invite you to  subscribe to my newsletter.  When you do, you’ll receive a free guide: 7 Simple Ways to Embrace Your Power … NOW.  Readers have shared with me the amazing ways they have enhanced their lives by implementing these simple, yet profound, steps.  Get ready for your evolution!

If you’re looking for a FANTASTIC book on making the practice of extreme self-care a new standard of living, I HIGHLY recommend Cheryl Richardson’s book “The Art of Extreme Self-Care.” I’ve given the book to many clients because I believe in it so much.

Would love to hear what you do to carve out time for your self-care.  Let’s share insights and support one another in this wonderful and wild world of womanhood.

Until next week, have fun with ME TIME.  You’ll be SO glad you did (hint: so will everyone else in your life).

xoxo

Jenny