The Making of a Coach [Part 4] – Pregnancy, Solid Systems, Consistent Marketing + Writing My Book

The Making of a Coach [Part 4]

** This is a continuation of a multi-part series on how I’ve built my coaching business. If you missed part 3, check it out here. If you missed part 2, check it out here. If you missed part 1, check it out here. **

2013 – my 6th year in business as a coach – was a massive uprising of sorts. I blew things up, built things and got pregnant!

Here’s a snapshot of my celebrations and lessons learned. May these help YOU get clear on what’s possible for YOU in your business, especially if you’re ready to rock it as a COACH.

13 Celebrations from 2013

1. Made space for baby #3

Jenny - blue (preg#3)Out of everything that happened in 2013, this is what I’m most proud of. Being the mom of two young boys was FULL already. Add onto that being a wife and running a business from home and whoa!

But this new baby soul spoke to me in my quiet moments and told me she was ready to join our family. And instead of ignoring the voice and being too busy or scared, we made space and said yes.

You should know that I never was that gal who always wanted to be a mom or was a babysitter as a teenager or daydreamed with my husband about the children we would one day have.  No, this all happened organically as I evolved into the woman I am today.

Being the daughter of divorced parents who don’t speak to each other … and having lost a sister to cancer as a young girl, I was scarred to the core and afraid I wouldn’t know what to do as a mom since I felt I didn’t have a lot of my emotional needs met as a child.

Honestly, there are days I know what I’m doing and many days I feel like a wreck, but as I reflect back on 2013 in particular, my family is what I’m most proud of creating.

And I’m proud to have made space for a new baby in my business so it could keep growing when I took time off after giving birth. (I hadn’t done this with my first two babies, but I learned.)

2. Grew the business

After first crossing the 6-figure mark in 2012, I learned that we can do that every year because I know where to focus my energy for maximum impact at this stage in my business cycle.

In terms of numbers, we experienced 30% growth in revenue in 2013. I wanted this to be higher because that’s how I’m wired, but I got over it once I realized everything else I had on my plate this year.

I hired a bookkeeping company mid-year that specializes in online businesses to help me get a handle on the numbers because I couldn’t do it myself anymore. Huge decision. Should have done it sooner.

I’m proud that we doubled our list size and let go of the peeps who weren’t in alignment with our message. I used to get totally sad when people unsubscribed from my list. Now I celebrate because they are making space for women who are ready for my teachings and who want to be part of this tribe. We have more systems in place for tracking growth (I never did this before!).

And I did all of this by chunking my time and working about 20 – 25 hours a week. I take Fridays off with my kids. This is often my most “challenging” day of the week, but I protect that time at all costs because my kids are only little once.

3. Wrote my 1st book

I flew out to Los Angeles for a book blastoff VIP day with my writing coach. Here, the book was conceptualized and the path was charted.

I flew out to Los Angeles for a book blastoff VIP day with my writing coach. Here, the book was conceptualized and the path was charted.

This was a big doozy for me. I had this on my goal list for a LONG time. Finally, in 2013, I said “I’m freaking doing it.” So I hired writing coach Rachel Resnick of Writers on Fire and paid her $17,000 to help me birth my book in 3 months. I had never invested that kind of money in such a short time period. You better believe I hustled my ass off to make good on that money.

This was one of the most intense 3 months of my life. Lots of deep digging into my past to tell my honest story of what I’ve learned on my journey and how these learnings apply to YOU living a gutsy, dreamy, rich, kick-ass life using your natural gifts and talents.

Mind you, I started this process at the EXACT same time we broke ground on our home renovation and addition. Crazy? Yes. Were there times I wanted to give up? YES.

4. Got and gave regular support in my soul sisters mastermind group

I’m in a mastermind group of 6- and 7-figure female business owners from around the world and we have this awesome thriving forum on Facebook where we share just about everything related to being a woman, entrepreneur, mom, wife, human, you name it.

I seriously do not know what I’d do without these gals. We champion each other, are full-out honest about whatever comes up and just totally get what each one of us is about.

Getting together in PERSON with these gals is a dream of mine that I look forward to making real someday. For now, our online universe rocks.

If you don’t yet have a mastermind group, get one! I created a beautiful one this year called the Business Adventure School. I LOVE all the women in it. Total rockstars who lay it all out on the line in the name of building their business to change the world. I’m honored to be their guide!

5. Streamlined systems + strengthened team

After almost having a breakdown a few years ago, I am a systems maniac in my business now. We use asana.com as a project management tool and use it religiously to stay on track. When problems arise (and they will), instead of blaming people, I look for the glitch in the system and then fix it. I’m building a business, not a job. Most newbie entrepreneurs suck at this. Don’t be an amateur. Get good at this.

We also tightened up the team this year. I let some peeps go who got us to a certain point but couldn’t get us any further … and brought on a few new team members to get us to that next level.

I also have a bookkeeping team who gives me regular profitability reports, as well as a brand studio who creates my brand identity and knows my voice and personality SO well (the head of the studio also a client in my mastermind!).

Who do you need on your team to get you to that next level? Free yourself up so you can focus on your brilliance. Don’t try to do everything yourself.

6. Traveled to important events

I was a traveling banshee this year. After having my second son Luke in 2011 and feeling pretty attached to being close to home in 2012 as we were still nursing, it felt GREAT to get my wings back and fly around the country mining for “gold” as I like to call it.

Me and my mentor Ali Brown.

Me and my mentor Ali Brown.

I attended mastermind meetings in Connecticut and California as part of my work with my mentors Fabienne Fredrickson and Ali Brown.

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Hanging with my Infusionsoft coach Georgetta at InfusionCon.

I went to InfusionCon, hosted by my CRM software company Infusionsoft. That one blew my mind. Never had been around so many men at an entrepreneurs conference – LOL! It was refreshing to see the way this gender operates. They seemed to have no problem with growing their business to epic levels. Men just go for it and figure things out as they go without overcomplicating things. Nice.

One of the coolest events I attended was the Women + Power Retreat at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York. Brene Brown was a speaker, among other inspiring women. My pal Christine Gallagher and I went together. It was special to grow that friendship with her. She was also a guest speaker at the Retreat for Goddesses and nailed her talk!

Me and Christine Gallagher at the Women + Power Retreat at Omega Institute. Fun girlie slumber party weekend.

Me and Christine Gallagher at the Women + Power Retreat at Omega Institute. Fun girlie slumber party weekend.

Near the end of the year, I attended a Dress for Success Gala in Arizona. My mentor Ali Brown was an honorary chair for the event and it was awesome to see her in action. Hearing the stories of women impacted by this organization filled my heart in many ways. The trip to Scottsdale also allowed me to do some maternity clothes shopping at my fave spot – a Pea in the Pod!

Going to events is a crucial component to growing your coaching biz at certain stages of your biz. Look at your calendar now and start circling dates of the events you want to attend. Make it happen!

7. Hosted my 1st telesummit – the Business Adventure Summit

BAS-speaker-montageI had been wanting to host a telesummit ever since telesummits came on the scene.  My former corporate job as a conference producer made this a PERFECT project for me … I just had to carve out the time.

This year, I made it happen with the Business Adventure Summit, featuring 14 women biz owners I find particularly empowering and inspiring.

Not only did we receive rave feedback on the Summit, but it was a huge list builder for us and many of these new peeps to my tribe became private clients in the Business Adventure School I also launched this year. Triple win!

Note to telesummit virgins who want to host one: Pulling a telesummit off is a HUGE undertaking. You need a team to really do this right. But it’s totally possible and it’s so worth it … as long as you know WHAT the intent of your telesummit is (money maker, list builder, platform booster, etc.). Be clear from the get go and get gutsy when inviting some awesome “big draw” speakers to take your virtual stage. Make sure they promote for you, too!

This is crucial.

8. Created new, mostly “evergreen” offerings

allThis was a crazy creation year. I was fully in my flow and having a ball bringing my magic out into the world.

Here’s a list of what I created (with help from my team and angels, of course!):

  • Cash in on Your Calling Coaching Program
  • Business Adventure School
  • Live Your Dream Challenge
  • Vision Board Magic
  • Wrote my book (see celebration #3)
  • Business Adventure Summit (see celebration #7)
  • Make Money Love You 7-Day Cleanse
  • A LOT of free preview calls, webinars, and livestreams (I probably averaged about 1 a month)

The coolest part is that much of this content is EVERGREEN meaning it can be sold and offered over and over again as part of the business. We’ve set up the back-end systems to make it all work automatically for our customers and clients so they have a fabulous experience. It took me 6 years to nail this concept.

9. Completed new home renovation + addition (and am still married after it’s all over!)

Workstation in our new library.

Workstation in our new library.

This was probably the toughest of all of my celebrations. The sheer timeline and money outlay attached to this was brutal. Totally shifted me out of my comfort zone … not to mention my house was a fucking wreck during the construction and we LIVED here during the whole process.

Crazy, right?

But good. And Steven and I got through it together!

Our kids LOVED watching the construction take place and learned so much. Just today Sean and I were at the library and he was building with blocks and he asked another mother who was helping if that was the foundation she laid down. He then proceeded to tell her why he knows about foundations and how he put his hands in our wet concrete when the cement truck poured it. I smiled like a proud mama!

And now, our house is an absolute sanctuary. I have an office that I can’t get enough of (I call it the Sunshine Studio).

My new studio space brings me so much JOY and is SO supportive of the growth of my business.

My new studio space brings me so much JOY and is SO supportive of the growth of my business.

My old office was in a spare bedroom that never felt quite right for what I was creating. I knew I had to change that. So we did. Now that spare bedroom has been opened up to be used for my baby’s room. Sweet!

My hubby Steven has an office in our new library that our kids also use for projects. We have a beautiful gas fireplace in there as well that warms me up on every level.

We added a front patio which opened up our land and my kids love going outside to play now through a door in our kitchen that didn’t exist before. We organized all the kids toys and sports equipment in the garage and it’s awesome. Our kitchen is very Zen and SO conductive to family living and entertaining.

This house is one that my family will grow into and make so many memories. I’m forever grateful we took this on and appreciate everyone on our team who made it possible. It takes a village.

10. Practiced yoga, sacred self-care + oodles of self-love

This is a non-negotiable in my world. The more I take exquisite care of myself, the more my business and soul grows. Try it! You’ll see.

I’ve been practicing yoga consistently for 12 years. It’s my rock. Make sure you have a rock to get you through the ups and downs of life.

Every morning look at yourself in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU. Then treat yourself with the utmost love and respect.

Om and namaste.

11. Read A LOT of books

I probably read more books in 2013 than I ever had in previous years (not including textbooks I read in college).

A big focus of my reading was on money and wealth consciousness. I read “The Law of Divine Compensation” by Marianne Williamson, “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace Wattles, “Get Rich, Lucky Bitch” by Denise Duffield-Thomas, “The Energy of Money” by Maria Nemeth and “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas Stanley and William Danko.

I also read “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown, “May Cause Miracles” by Gabrielle Bernstien, “Embrace Your Magnificence” by Fabienne Fredrickson, “The Golden Motorcycle Gang” by Jack Canfield and William Gladstone, “Love is the Killer App” by Tim Sanders and “The Desire Map” by Danielle Laporte.

12. Went on a bunch of family adventures

Hanging with horses in Montreal.

Hanging with horses in Montreal.

Travel and adventure is a family value and we made it happen in 2013. My husband Steven travels for his job quite a bit so the boys and I often go along and shack up in hotel rooms around the country.

A highlight for us this year was Montreal and Mohonk Mountain House in the Catskills (this is the spot I hosted the Retreat for Goddesses – see #13 below). Both of these trips were pure pleasure and we had a ball.

13. Hosted my 3rd annual and last ever Retreat for Goddesses

I'll never forget the magic we created at the Retreat for Goddesses.

I’ll never forget the magic we created at the Retreat for Goddesses.

This offering was something I brought to the world in 2011 and I’ll be forever grateful for the journey it took me on. The women who stepped up and joined forces with me and the other gutsy gals will forever stay etched in my heart.

I just knew that after 3 years, it was time to left this retreat go to make room for what was next on my biz and spiritual path. I’m proud of how this event evolved from its organic roots into a luxurious retreat for women who believe they deserve the very best in business and life. (We hosted the 2013 event at the #1 resort spa in America.)

I also launched my mastermind the Business Adventure School at the retreat and a number of amazing gals stepped forward into the offering.

Creating high-level, high-touch group coaching programs has been a secret to my business success. You’ll never make it as a coach if you ONLY rely on 1:1 coaching. The numbers just don’t add up and you’ll burn out and only touch a fraction of people with your message and mission.

13 Lessons Learned in 2013

  1. Not all clients are a match. Be courageous and only take on ideal coaching clients (you must first know who your ideal clients are!). This is hard at first. It gets easier after you take on a client that’s not an ideal match. Always remember you are responsible TO your clients, not FOR them.
  2. Some offerings run their course. It’s okay. Be willing to let them go to make room for your evolution.
  3. Don’t throw your money away. Be vigilant about what your expenses are and cut anything that you don’t use. Understand the difference between investments and expenses and understand that investments take time to mature.
  4. Email can be a beast. Don’t chain yourself to this tool. Set limits and only check at specific times. You don’t have to reply to everything. Set up automatic filters. If you’re a biz owner, set up a support mailbox where your general inquiries go.
  5. Do it the way YOU want to do it. You’ll hear every piece of advice out there for what you’re doing. Most will contradict each other. Tips and advice from peeps who have your best interests at heart are gold … but at the end of the day, listen to your heart. Do what’s right for YOU and your path. No one is wiser than you.
  6. Consistent marketing works. In 2013, we published 50 newsletters (just about every week, skipping a few weeks for vacation!) and 100+ blog posts. This is MUCH more content than we’ve ever published before. Our biz grew as a result. If you do nothing else in your marketing, BE CONSISTENT and do what you say you’re going to do.
  7. Family is the most important thing there is. It’s true. And great friends count as family, too. Don’t take your family or friends for granted. Let them know you care. Cards in the mail work really well because they are so rare! So do cute notes and surprises at home. Little things go a long way.
  8. Sacred self-care is crucial. Seriously, this has to be a priority for you. I tell my clients their top 3 priorities in terms of how they spend their time are current clients, money-generating activities and sacred self-care. Don’t neglect yourself. For me, it’s yoga, massage, facials, pedicures, solo dates, reading and deep breathing. What are your self-care faves? These are not luxuries. They are necessities.
  9. Giving is better than receiving. Way, way better. What organization or person can you make an impact with today? For me, I love giving to young people. In 2013, we gave college money to high school students in my hometown in Florida. This was the 4th year we gave the Julie Amon Dolphins of Strength Scholarship in my late sister’s honor. Feels great! I also gave to the Unstoppable Foundation and Dress for Success. Give money, give time, give love, give whatever you can. Just give.
  10. Entrepreneurship and coaching is the most intense personal growth path you can walk (in addition to parenthood). This is simply the truth. All your shit will come out to be dealt with. It’s okay. You can handle it. The upsides far outweigh the downsides. Just make sure you have a sacred support system you can share the journey with. This is not a road you want to walk alone.
  11. You will have critics. The more you shine your light, the more you’ll attract some people (a very small percentage) who won’t like what you’re doing and will tell you they don’t like what you’re about. Have buffers and boundaries in place and don’t let these energy vampires get the best of you. Focus on your fans, not your critics.
  12. Policies, procedures and agreements will save your butt. You must have these in place and HONOR them when it comes to cancellations, refund requests, payments, scheduling time with you … and more. Don’t leave this to chance. Be a CEO and a leader. Always remember you’re running a business. Have high-level clients sign agreements so you both are on the same page about the terms. Don’t leave this to chance and a handshake. You’ll thank me for this later!
  13. If you don’t believe in what you’re doing, who will? It starts with you. Have a regular practice to boost yourself up everyday and stick to it. Your mindset is crucial to doing this work in the world. Be strong! You can do this.

soulWhat would 2014 bring with a new baby, new mastermind program and a book to finish and publish?

And that is where we will pick up with the next post in our series on “The Making of a Coach” …

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If you feel you’re being called to the COACHING industry as your career or a supplement to what you’re doing now, but aren’t sure how to actually BE a COACH …

(You’ve got questions like:

How do you hold the space during your client sessions?

How do you onboard clients?

What do you charge?

How do you work with clients?

What technology do you need?

What policies and procedures will keep you in business?

How do you actually get clients?)

then you’ll want to check out Get Gutsy Coach Training School.

  • Step into your highest calling as you share your coaching gifts with clients you adore
  • Work with clients while you’re still in training
  • Learn how to earn a great living from an award-winning entrepreneur
  • 100% online learning immersion. Train to become a coach from anywhere in the world

Click here to join us.

The Making of a Coach [PART 1]: Quitting My Job + Redesigning My Life

The Making of a Coach [Part 1]When I quit my 6-figure corporate job back in 2007, the online space was NOT like it was today.

Facebook was in its infancy (I actually resisted joining the platform for so long as “everyone” was telling me I needed to join! I hate following the crowd – ha!).

Instagram didn’t exist yet.

There weren’t a ton of courses or program being offered.

The term “selfie” had not yet been born!

But I had the itch to be out on my own. To be a solo operator. To be in charge of my own destiny using my natural gifts and talents.

Before I left corporate, I spent about one month test driving being an Arbonne independent consultant (great products, but NOT the business model for me) and went through a 200-hour yoga teacher training program in New York City.

It was towards the end of my 3-month yoga teacher training course that I walked into work one day, broke down crying at my desk in my cubicle, called my husband, then mom, then boss to announce my resignation.

I took some time off, went to an ashram, prayed, meditated, and committed to finding my center again.

After applying to jobs I wasn’t really excited about and that would pay me A LOT less than what I was earning from salary and profit share from my last job (around $175,000/year), I came to the realization that I was unemployable.

This became very clear when I was rejected by lululemon for a retail job near Lincoln Center in NYC. I think I freaked out the hiring manager when I had my second interview and told her my big ideas for opening up new stores and taking the biz to the next level from a macro perspective!

My ego was freaking out and I was honestly very lost …

Now what would I do?

The first move I made to become self-employed was to take on freelance consulting projects.

The first dollar I earned OUTSIDE of my corporate life was to help a very wealthy, brilliant, yet scatterbrained man to position his new business in the market.

While it was fun to be out of the corporate grind, I learned very quickly that he was NOT my ideal client … and the work I was doing did NOT light me up.

And my reverse commuting 1 hour from Manhattan to Westchester to teach yoga to kids (sweet gig!) for $25/class was not going to cut it financially.

And the private corporate yoga class I was teaching once a week for $125 a class was a step up financially, but once I got pregnant with my first child I knew this gig would come to an end, and admittedly I was grateful as teaching yoga asana (the postures) isn’t my calling.

To plug the money hole, I started freelancing as a conference producer for a company headed up by a gal I used to work with in corporate. She was president of the company and wanted to hire me full time.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” I told her. I was honest with her that I was grateful and excited about the freelance work, but I was on another path …

What was that path?

Guiding.

Empowering.

Teaching.

COACHING.

I fell for COACHING so hard that I decided to make it my livelihood and commit to a 10-month coach training certification program to the tune of $9,000.

It. Was. Intense.

I learned a ton about how to be an AMAZING COACH.

I bonded with my classmates.

And I was fortunate to get clients immediately, which was total validation of my new path.

But being a great COACH is one thing … actually making a living as a COACH is a very different thing.

It’s time to shine a LIGHT here.

This is the first in a series about the coaching industry … and how I’m “making it” as a coach.

I’m excited to share my steps for sacred, sustainable success with you!

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If you feel you’re being called to the COACHING industry as your career or a supplement to what you’re doing now, but aren’t sure how to actually BE a COACH …

(You’ve got questions like:

How do you hold the space during your client sessions?

How do you onboard clients?

What do you charge?

How do you work with clients?

What technology do you need?

What policies and procedures will keep you in business?

How do you actually get clients?)

… then you’ll want to check out Get Gutsy Coach Training School (enrolling for our amazing January 2017 class now!).

I also invite you to come to my free webinar next week where you will see what’s possible when you say YES to fully stepping into coaching.

Click here to grab your spot now.

I’m looking for a gutsy crew of leaders who are ready to step into the next generation of CONFIDENT COACHES who are changing the world with their GIFTS.

Is that you?

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Don’t Miss This

I’m back in the saddle after a glorious week of vacation. I was truly “off,” which led to some amazing realizations about moves I’m ready to make.

Space to simply “be” vs constantly do, do, do is the key to growth for me. This is about basking in the sacred feminine and learning how to receive.

I’ll be honest with you: it takes me a few days to fully unplug from the work. I truly do love it.

That’s why I took a FULL 7 days off. This summer, I’m planning longer stretches as those long stretches are DELICIOUS.

It’s true: I know that to do my best work, I MUST PAUSE.

And disconnect from email, social media chatter and my Asana task list.

My phone and laptop actually aided in this as my vacation was about to begin when my email password stopped working and I could not fix it. It was crazy! I could still access email if I needed to in a back-end way, but it was much more challenging to get there. This turned out to be a blessing and message from the Universe.

There are many people out there who will tell you that taking breaks from your work means you need to find work that you love enough that you don’t want to take breaks, but I think that’s bullshit.

Breaks are good for business.

You get refueled in ways that aren’t possible in the typical day-to-day. Space opens up for epic downloads. You see the next move that’s calling your name.

Plus you connect deeply with your soul and whoever you’re hanging out with (in my case, my family!).

I’m coming home rested, focused and excited about this next cycle in my mission.

One thing I’m pumped about now that I’m back from vacation is leading the Tribe Building Challenge next week. In a word, it will be: EPIC.

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If you’re ready to grow your audience, business + confidence in 5 days … and do it alongside some powerful spiritual business leaders, grab your free spot here >>

http://TheTribeBuildingChallenge.com

This FREE Challenge includes:

  1. Daily Email Lesson + Writing Prompts
    Everyday I’ll land in your inbox to give you a valuable tribe-building lesson + a writing prompt so you can grow your tribe now.
  2. Daily Facebook Live Trainings
    You’ll also be invited to join me every day in our Facebook group for live video training, motivation, and Q+A time.
  3. Supportive, Gorgeous Community
    You’ll love connecting with spiritual entrepreneurs to give + get support.

Sign up here: http://TheTribeBuildingChallenge.com

Time to grow your tribe, girl.

Here we go …

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P.S. All Challenge participants who play full-out are eligible for some rad prizes. See you there!

 

Healing the Relationship with My Mother

me+mom

My mom and I just had a pretty powerful visit together.

Us spending time together in this way – real, honest, loving – feels like a huge accomplishment.

We didn’t talk for the first half of 2015.

This was a very tough decision. I needed some space to heal and think and be.

When I posted this on Facebook a few days ago, someone asked me why I wasn’t talking to my mom earlier this year. My response: “Needed some space in our relationship to find a healthier way forward.

That’s the best way to describe it.

How did we find that healthier way forward?

In my case, a lot of self inquiry, therapy, forgiveness and letting go.

While attending Gabby Bernstein’s spectacular Kripalu retreat in August, I received the download during one of our meditations to invite my mom to my spiritual business retreat ALCHEMY Live (it would be her first time attending one of my events and truly seeing what I do).

Gabby B

A piece of this realization may have been due to me “randomly” sitting next to Gabby’s mother Susan during one of our sessions. I felt that motherly energy and missed my mom whose name is also Susan! I decided I wanted to reestablish a relationship while we still had the chance.

I listened to that Divine Download and texted my mom during the retreat and asked if she wanted to attend my event in October.

Her response: YES.

That support meant so much to me as I was moving to the next level in my work.

Leading a spiritual business is amazing and terrifying at times. It’s easy to feel “alone” as you make leaps, take risks and move forward.

To have the support of your parents, spouse, children and friends makes the road smoother.

This isn’t always possible, but know that patience is often required.

So back to my event …

ALCHEMY Live was epic. Not only did my mom Susan attend, but she was a speaker!

me+mom Q+A 2015

Yes, I interviewed her on stage about her life + career journey. She talked about how different it was for women growing up in the 40s, 50s and 60s (she was born in 1947). I learned a lot about her during our conversation!

Afterwards, so many people came up to her to say THANKS. (A few came up to me and said our conversation inspired them to heal their mother/daughter relationship and try again – wow).

My mom was shocked that my attendees were so grateful to hear her wisdom and story.

I told her: YOUR STORY MATTERS.

By witnessing my work, my mom now knows that my sister Julie (she passed away in 1994) works through me. She now sees this is a family business.

She gets it. And we are committed to getting each other, to seeing each other as people and not only “mom” or “daughter.”

To pull in extra help with this, I invited my mom to a session with my therapist the day after my retreat ended. The breakthrough that occurred in that room with my therapist holding SPACE for us was HUGE.

The little girl in me HAD A VOICE. The mother in her FINALLY HEARD what I was trying to say my entire life.

Tears.

Hugs.

Seeing each other.

Isn’t that what we all want?

To be seen.

Heard.

Felt.

Held.

The relationship with my mother hasn’t always been easy, but it IS worth it.

I’m sure there will be more bumps in the road, but that’s life. It’s not smooth sailing all the time.

And I can honestly say that I’m giving this relationship my best effort moving forward.

As a mother, I’m modeling this for my children so that they see how committed I am to love, forgiveness and staying OPEN.

Do you have a challenging relationship in your life? (Who doesn’t?!)

I GET IT.

I so get it.

What I’ve learned is this: the people in your life have something to teach you … just like you have something to teach them.

We are each others’ students and teachers.

Get help. Therapists, coaches, healers and guides are AMAZING supports.

Read empowering books.

Get your thoughts and feelings out.

Journal.

Stay open.

Stay faithful.

Do what you need to do. (Sometimes the healthiest way to move forward is to end a relationship with someone you love.)

Be who you really are.

Create healthy boundaries, but don’t let those boundaries rob you of the richness that is being IN RELATIONSHIP with all of its messiness and grace.

Moving to the next level in your business and life is IMPOSSIBLE without being IN relationship with A LOT of people.

Team members.

Partners.

Vendors.

Clients.

Students.

Customers.

Coaches.

Teachers.

Community.

Media.

Children.

Romantic partners.

Parents.

In-laws.

Siblings.

Extended Family.

Friends.

Critics.

Yourself.

My daughter Kate sporting a new nightgown, a gift from her Grandma who also sent matching jams to my sons.

My daughter Kate sporting a new nightgown, a gift from her Grandma who also sent matching jams to my sons. My mom is amazing at clothes shopping!

We can’t be Lone Rangers. And we don’t want to be.

Sending you LOVE as you navigate the relationships in your life.

May they offer you the opportunity to grow, heal, love and be loved.

How will you be IN RELATIONSHIP today?

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P.S. FREE ONLINE WORKSHOP FOR SPIRITUAL BUSINESS LEADERS!

Do you:

  • Have TOO MANY IDEAS and want help focusing?
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  • Get excited about creating a COHERENT BRAND + MISSION?
  • Believe in living a life and building your business guided by SPIRIT?

My online workshop is custom-built for you!

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GLOW: Be Seen, Heard + Paid with Jenny Fenig

Thursday, November 5

1 p.m. – 2:30 p.m. EST

Location: Online

(If you can’t join live, reserve a spot anyway so we can send you the recording.)

You can instantly reserve your spot on the free online workshop here now.

It’s GLOW time.

Keeping Your Marriage Alive As You Build Your Business

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I’ve been obsessed with relationships since I was a young girl.

My parents divorcing when I was in 4th grade (they separated when I was a 2nd grader) definitely had something to do with it. As I got older and started dating, I started analyzing the ingredients of a healthy relationship.

This analysis took the form of lots of experimentation in the dating realm! Most of my experiments involved crashing and burning. Some were rather successful.

In college at the University of Florida, I was so interested in exploring the dynamics of relationships that I took a course called Marriage and Family. I learned the ins and outs of divorce rates and how to not be a statistic (marrying later tended to be helpful, according to the data back in 1999).

I knew I wanted to have all of the knowledge, tips and tricks to build a healthy relationship that could withstand the ups and downs of life, children, career shifts, relocation, you name it.

When I met Steven in February 2003 and we decided to spend our lives together, it was exciting.

“Finally! He’s here,” I gushed.

During our engagement, I talked him in to going to a “Marriage Success Workshop” in NYC. So smart!

We learned communication skills, how to read each other’s body language and that if you only have sex when you’re not tired or in the mood then you’ll never have sex (true!).

All of this training and digging deep and loving each other through thick and thin has led to us being married for 10 years. It still blows me away that we’ve been married for a decade.

We’ve been through job changes, business evolution, financial changes, the birth of 3 children, moving from NYC to Massachusetts, celebration and disappointment.

There have been days where I’ve wanted to DRIVE far, far away BY MYSELF and DISAPPEAR.

There are days when we get on each other’s nerves!

There are days when I want to never hear another word about the Cleveland Browns.

There are days when all I want to do is work on my business and help my people.

I’m at a point in my business where things are TAKING OFF in new and exciting ways. I literally could stay up until 2 a.m. every night and still have a shitload of stuff to take care of the next day. It’s that full on.

So when Steven came to me recently with a last minute opportunity to go to Orlando, Florida for a work trip he was going on, I very easily could have said, “NO!”

Our kids had just gone back to school and I was FINALLY settling back into a rhythm, which I desperately needed!

My plate was overflowing: enrolling students in Get Gutsy Coach Training School, preparing for my retreat ALCHEMY Live, serving my current clients, and building out a brand new initiative that I’ll be ready to share with you soon. Plus, I’m in Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass Level 1 and am prepping to take Level 2 next month.

See what I’m talking about? FULL PLATE.

But instead of letting FEAR make my decision (will I fall behind? can I handle a flight with 3 kids? will it be too hot in Florida?), I allowed LOVE to take over instead.

LOVE for my marriage, LOVE for my family, LOVE for my mom (who lives near Orlando), LOVE for adventure, and LOVE for my tribe who benefits when I’m HAPPY EXPLORING THE WORLD.

And I remembered why I built my business the way I have … because my goal has always been MAXIMUM FREEDOM + FLEXIBILITY. When I started out on my entrepreneurial journey in 2008, I always said I wanted the ability to work when I want, with whom I want and where I want.

And that has been my driving force.

Because I never wanted to choose between WORK + ADVENTURE.

I never wanted to have to allocate 2 or 4 or 6 week’s vacation time over the course of the year.

I wanted FULL control over my schedule.

Because calling my own shots and going on adventures – big, small and everything in between – lights me UP.

That’s why entrepreneurship + the coaching life is so perfect for me + my family.

So I said YES to Steven’s invitation because it was the best decision for our family. It allowed us to keep our SPARK burning.

The awesome thing is that during the 3-night trip, my business generated $6,000. When I wasn’t at Animal Kingdom or Epcot, I was able to serve my students in my Tribe Building Bootcamp course. And I hosted a last-minute meetup and got to hang out with one of my students (and her kids!) in the next class of my coach certification course.

Don’t you just love online business? I DO! I DO!

Don’t you just love marriage? I DO! I DO!

Don’t you just love BUSINESS + MARRIAGE? I DO! I DO!

I’m curious … why did you fall in love with your partner or spouse?

What shared passions do you have?

How are you doing breathing life into your BUSINESS + your RELATIONSHIP?

Where might you need support?

It’s a delicate balancing act for sure.

For our 5 year wedding anniversary, we went to a couples retreat at Kripalu called “Finding Passion and Joy in Your Relationship.” We made vision boards that pulled us into our next chapter.

steven vision board - 2010

Steven’s vision board in 2010

My vision board in 2010

My vision board in 2010

That retreat led us to the clarity that we were ready to move out of NYC and relocate to the Berkshires of Massachusetts. I share the whole story in my bestselling book “Get Gutsy.”

couples retreat

Stockbridge Bowl across from Kripalu

Would a retreat be good for the two of you?

Would regular date night?

Would having a digital detox day where you don’t look at your devices or work on your business?

Feel your way into this. Your relationship depends on it.

I encourage you to think about what unites YOUR FAMILY. Write down your ideas. Important stuff.

In our case, Steven and I fell in love over a shared passion for travel and seeing the world. As parents, this continues to unite us as a family.

When Steven travels for work, we make a strong effort to join him. This isn’t always possible (like this coming weekend when he heads to a college football game in Mobile, Alabama).

But often we can journey together to a new place or simply some other home away from home that we want to check out! We pull the strings, make the plans, shack up in one hotel room (first night is always the hardest!), and explore this beautiful planet.

When it’s all said and done, I want us to be able to say: we spent as much time together having fun and spreading joy as we could.

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Exploring the great city of Montreal!

Enjoy your relationship, friends. Enjoy your business.

Enjoy the highs and the lows.

Surrender, have faith and trust that you’re being led.

Live it up. Love is all there is.

P.S. If you want to create your own location-independent lifestyle as a coach, check out my free training I created for new and aspiring coaches ready to make a great living and a difference in the world. Would love to have you there. You can sign up here.

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