I’ve been obsessed with relationships since I was a young girl.
My parents divorcing when I was in 4th grade (they separated when I was a 2nd grader) definitely had something to do with it. As I got older and started dating, I started analyzing the ingredients of a healthy relationship.
This analysis took the form of lots of experimentation in the dating realm! Most of my experiments involved crashing and burning. Some were rather successful.
In college at the University of Florida, I was so interested in exploring the dynamics of relationships that I took a course called Marriage and Family. I learned the ins and outs of divorce rates and how to not be a statistic (marrying later tended to be helpful, according to the data back in 1999).
I knew I wanted to have all of the knowledge, tips and tricks to build a healthy relationship that could withstand the ups and downs of life, children, career shifts, relocation, you name it.
When I met Steven in February 2003 and we decided to spend our lives together, it was exciting.
“Finally! He’s here,” I gushed.
During our engagement, I talked him in to going to a “Marriage Success Workshop” in NYC. So smart!
We learned communication skills, how to read each other’s body language and that if you only have sex when you’re not tired or in the mood then you’ll never have sex (true!).
All of this training and digging deep and loving each other through thick and thin has led to us being married for 10 years. It still blows me away that we’ve been married for a decade.
We’ve been through job changes, business evolution, financial changes, the birth of 3 children, moving from NYC to Massachusetts, celebration and disappointment.
There have been days where I’ve wanted to DRIVE far, far away BY MYSELF and DISAPPEAR.
There are days when we get on each other’s nerves!
There are days when I want to never hear another word about the Cleveland Browns.
There are days when all I want to do is work on my business and help my people.
I’m at a point in my business where things are TAKING OFF in new and exciting ways. I literally could stay up until 2 a.m. every night and still have a shitload of stuff to take care of the next day. It’s that full on.
So when Steven came to me recently with a last minute opportunity to go to Orlando, Florida for a work trip he was going on, I very easily could have said, “NO!”
Our kids had just gone back to school and I was FINALLY settling back into a rhythm, which I desperately needed!
My plate was overflowing: enrolling students in Get Gutsy Coach Training School, preparing for my retreat ALCHEMY Live, serving my current clients, and building out a brand new initiative that I’ll be ready to share with you soon. Plus, I’m in Gabby Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass Level 1 and am prepping to take Level 2 next month.
See what I’m talking about? FULL PLATE.
But instead of letting FEAR make my decision (will I fall behind? can I handle a flight with 3 kids? will it be too hot in Florida?), I allowed LOVE to take over instead.
LOVE for my marriage, LOVE for my family, LOVE for my mom (who lives near Orlando), LOVE for adventure, and LOVE for my tribe who benefits when I’m HAPPY EXPLORING THE WORLD.
And I remembered why I built my business the way I have … because my goal has always been MAXIMUM FREEDOM + FLEXIBILITY. When I started out on my entrepreneurial journey in 2008, I always said I wanted the ability to work when I want, with whom I want and where I want.
And that has been my driving force.
Because I never wanted to choose between WORK + ADVENTURE.
I never wanted to have to allocate 2 or 4 or 6 week’s vacation time over the course of the year.
I wanted FULL control over my schedule.
Because calling my own shots and going on adventures – big, small and everything in between – lights me UP.
That’s why entrepreneurship + the coaching life is so perfect for me + my family.
So I said YES to Steven’s invitation because it was the best decision for our family. It allowed us to keep our SPARK burning.
The awesome thing is that during the 3-night trip, my business generated $6,000. When I wasn’t at Animal Kingdom or Epcot, I was able to serve my students in my Tribe Building Bootcamp course. And I hosted a last-minute meetup and got to hang out with one of my students (and her kids!) in the next class of my coach certification course.
Don’t you just love online business? I DO! I DO!
Don’t you just love marriage? I DO! I DO!
Don’t you just love BUSINESS + MARRIAGE? I DO! I DO!
I’m curious … why did you fall in love with your partner or spouse?
What shared passions do you have?
How are you doing breathing life into your BUSINESS + your RELATIONSHIP?
Where might you need support?
It’s a delicate balancing act for sure.
For our 5 year wedding anniversary, we went to a couples retreat at Kripalu called “Finding Passion and Joy in Your Relationship.” We made vision boards that pulled us into our next chapter.
Steven’s vision board in 2010
My vision board in 2010
That retreat led us to the clarity that we were ready to move out of NYC and relocate to the Berkshires of Massachusetts. I share the whole story in my bestselling book “Get Gutsy.”
Stockbridge Bowl across from Kripalu
Would a retreat be good for the two of you?
Would regular date night?
Would having a digital detox day where you don’t look at your devices or work on your business?
Feel your way into this. Your relationship depends on it.
I encourage you to think about what unites YOUR FAMILY. Write down your ideas. Important stuff.
In our case, Steven and I fell in love over a shared passion for travel and seeing the world. As parents, this continues to unite us as a family.
When Steven travels for work, we make a strong effort to join him. This isn’t always possible (like this coming weekend when he heads to a college football game in Mobile, Alabama).
But often we can journey together to a new place or simply some other home away from home that we want to check out! We pull the strings, make the plans, shack up in one hotel room (first night is always the hardest!), and explore this beautiful planet.
When it’s all said and done, I want us to be able to say: we spent as much time together having fun and spreading joy as we could.
Exploring the great city of Montreal!
Enjoy your relationship, friends. Enjoy your business.
Enjoy the highs and the lows.
Surrender, have faith and trust that you’re being led.
Live it up. Love is all there is.
P.S. If you want to create your own location-independent lifestyle as a coach, check out my free training I created for new and aspiring coaches ready to make a great living and a difference in the world. Would love to have you there. You can sign up here.