Lessons from a Wedding Dress: Be Clear About What You Want


Ready to create an outrageously fabulous October?  Let’s do it.

This week we are focusing on one of the most IMPORTANT aspects of living an inspired life, one that is full of wonder and joy: being clear about what you want.

I was reminded about how powerful living with vision is last week when I connected with a gal who has been doing this for 12 years. This is an amazing story, one that truly left me with a sense of awe. It’s a story of boy meets girl, another boy meets another girl … and then these two girls meet each other to share something that will be in their memories (and pictures) forever: A DRESS.  So sit back and have some fun reading this.

I got married to my wonderful husband Steven in the summer of 2005 (our big day is pictured in this post).  I remember the details of the wedding so well.  The location, the people, the music, the food, the vows, the vibe.  And like every bride, I remember my dress.

Ahhh, the dress.  My vintage-style Badgley Mischka gown fit me like a glove.  I loved that dress … and was thrilled that I only paid a fraction of the retail price (I bought it used).  I found “the dress” at Michael’s, a designer consignment store on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.  As soon as I tried the dress on, I knew it was “the one.”  I wish I could have thanked the original owner of the dress for sharing this beautiful garment with me!  I knew I would return the favor by passing it on to the next lucky bride.

Although my intention was to pass on the dress, I found it hard to part with it. Every time I’d open the closet in the guest bedroom (which has now morphed into my son’s room), I’d see the dress bag and say to myself: “I’ve gotta sell that dress.”  I didn’t quite know how to go about selling it and was really dragging my feet. Part of me was sad to part with it  (Thoughts in my head included: “Oh, the memories!” and “What if my not-yet-conceived daughter wants to wear it?”).  The other part of me knew that the dress was too beautiful to stay tucked away in a closet … and that some other bride is supposed to have the honor of wearing this special garment on a life-changing day.

Years passed … and the dress stayed in my closet.

Fast forward to fall of 2009.  I decide to attend SHINE, a women’s entrepreneur’s conference hosted by the amazing Ali Brown next month in Las Vegas.  This event is all about taking your business and life to the next level – woo hoo!   With all of the new opportunities in my life, I knew it was time to clear out the old stuff I have been holding on to (i.e. “the dress”) and free up some space and some funds at a crucial and exciting time in my business: growth mode.

So I posted “the dress” on two great web sites: www.oncewed.com and www.preownedweddingdresses.com.   Within days I received multiple inquiries.  One inquiry gave me goosebumps.

Here’s what it said:

“Hi! This is going to sound crazy, but I have had this dress picked out since 1997! It was featured in InStyle Magazine back then (I was 14) and I have saved the magazine ever since to remember the dress. Since you are also in NYC, may I please see the dress?”

I couldn’t believe what I was reading.  “What?  Are you kidding?  How amazing is this?”

We immediately made plans for her to try on the dress.  I crossed my fingers that there would be a happy ending and the dress would live up to her expectations …

And …

It …


I’m triple thrilled:

  • For her – She gets to wear “the dress” she’s thought about for 12 years on her wedding day
  • For me – I got money to grow my business and allow me to do what I’m passionate about: empower women to create lives of their choosing
  • For the dress – This beautiful gown gets to continue doing what it does so well: play a pivotal role in someone’s life

This story is all about one thing: BEING CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

She saved this magazine article (in pristine condition – mind you!) for 12 years.  She knew exactly what she wanted.

I wanted to go to this conference and wanted to free up some funds to make it happen.

Put our intentions together and poof: magic happens. Our dreams are both being realized.  How cool is that?  This story will always bring a smile to my face.  It couldn’t have turned out any better in my book.


  • Write about your life one year from now (October 2010).  Be clear about what you’re doing in as many aspects possible.  Where are you living?  Who are you spending time with?  What does your career look like?  How much fun are you having?  Be clear and detailed.
  • Create a vision board or vision box containing images, words, pictures, keepsakes of the kind of life you want to manifest.  Have some fun with this!  Let your creative side come out and play.
  • When communicating with anyone, be very clear about your desires, wants and expectations.  This leaves a lot less room for miscommunication and disappointment.
  • Trust your intuition.  When you feel it’s time to make a move in your life, have the guts to make a move.   Feel confident in your decision.  To get what you want, you must be willing to take action AND assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled.
  • What are you holding on to that doesn’t serve you any longer?  What can you sell, give away, recycle or otherwise pass on?  Spread the love.

Until next week, be clear about what you want.  Manifest your vision.  Magic will happen.



P.S.  I didn’t sell the entire wedding ensemble.  I saved the veil and earrings for future generations.  Seemed worth saving!

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