I was cleaning out my son’s closet today and filled a few bags worth of clothes he’s outgrown. He’ll be one (!) next week and we go through this cleansing process every few months. It’s amazing to see this little person growing before my eyes.
Cleaning out his closet is wonderfully cathartic. The act of letting go of things that don’t fit anymore to make room for stuff that does is POWERFUL.
As my one year anniversary of being a mom draws near, I get more and more convinced that everything I need to know I’m learning from my son. Point in case: shedding things – ideas, people, jobs, attitudes, homes, clothes – that we’ve outgrown.
Just like kids grow out of clothes and toys and interests, so do adults. This is often weird and confusing. We may cling to what we know, what’s comfortable, what used to work. We may struggle to pinpoint what exactly changed.
It may take us some time (and the ability to look back … when the time is right) to get some clarity, to heal, to accept WHAT IS. The point is: what worked in the past simply doesn’t work anymore because we’ve changed. We’ve grown. This is OKAY. This is MORE than okay. This is awesome. Reminds you that you’re ALIVE … and EVOLVING. Do you really still want to be that awkward kid you were in middle school? I know I don’t.
Feeling grief, sadness and nostalgic about letting old stuff go is normal … it’s part of the healing process. I like to look back on my past jobs, friends, ex-boyfriends, cities, drama, wild adventures with gratitude for the valuable part they played in my life.
As for how I’ve processed the most painful experience of my life so far – the death of my younger sister Julie when she was 12 and I was 16 – well, I’ve come to accept that life isn’t always long and life isn’t always fair. Julie taught me so much about living … and that I’m LUCKY – damn lucky – to be here. We all are. You better believe that I’m making this life count. She’d want it that way … and she’s pulling for me. I can feel her everyday. Ya, I’ve got an angel in my corner. (That’s us at the top of this post in matching bathing suits that we’ve long outgrown!)
It’s taken me a long time to get to this point of gratitude (and I’m not saying I never fall in the tempting trap of “why did that happen to me?”), but for the most part, I’m grateful and accepting. I KNOW with every fiber of my being that my experiences – good, bad, fabulous, painful – got me to this point I happily call MY LIFE.
** As we head into a new decade, take some time to think about what you’ve outgrown, what you’re ready to take out of your closet and put away for GOOD. Then ask yourself, what new stuff, experiences, attitudes are you making room for?
Here’s to rocking it out in 2010. I’m rooting for you. So is Julie.
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L-O-V-E this. What sums it all up for me is “take some time to think about what you’ve outgrown, what you’re ready to take out of your closet and put away for GOOD.” Hooray for colorful experiences, but thank goodness for clean slates!
I’m not a resolution setter, but since you asked, here’s some of my new stuff in the New Year…
New experiences: 1. Expand my wellness business to help more women live better. 2. Establish roots. 3. Find a way to go international at least once next year, regardless of my small business budget.
New attitudes: 1. Embrace closure. 2. Listen more. 3. Balance sense and spontaneity.
Jenny, love what you said and REALLY love that photo! So precious and I remember her well but also wish I’d had made more of an effort to keep up with you all while she was still here (in my more self-focused younger years I just didn’t think that way). What a terrific sister you were to her and we all adored you both.
As for shedding the old, I’m seemingly constantly de-cluttering – it really is handicapping when the ’stuff’ fills up the space where real living is to take place. Love that liberating feeling of getting it OUT and re-capturing the sense of organization and order we all crave as ’stuff’ (tangible and intangible) abounds and distracts us from where we’re supposed to be headed. As today’s world is full of distractions all the time, it truly is a challenge to try and stay focused on the important things and not let the clutter of distraction sway you from what you’re trying to do and where you’re trying to go. In 2010, I’d like to be more focused on what’s most important in my life.
Happy 2010, Jenny!
@Beth: Thanks so much for sharing. Don’t beat yourself up for us not spending more time together – living far apart makes things challenging. Love your approach to decluttering. You seem to clear headed and focused and committed to your path. It’s inspiring to witness. I guess we’re related for a reason! Love to you and your family.
@Kelly: I have full confidence that will you accomplish all your dreams. With faith, courage and a bit of moxie, you are unstoppable. I’m cheering you on, always.
I love this post, Jenny. I love that picture too. I too love finding old photos of my family. I just cleaned out my desk a bit more this past week, and I found some old cards from my 30th bday, that I kept, since that was such a special birthday. And the best cards I found were from my sister, Kelly Reese. You would never know from her tough exterior that there is a little heart of gold under there, but these cards prove it. They were so sweet. I even found my NYE ticket from the Milennium…..my my my have things changed for me in the past ten years-I am a completely different person. Thank you for being one of my best friends and sticking by me during my tougher years. I guess you saw that there was someone worth it under all that mess. I know Julie is your angel. I consider my gramma betty and grampa Clem. I love you and happy new year!!
Sorry writing from iPhone. I consider my gramma and grandpa as my angels and cheerleaders. Auds
Love this picture of you and your sister.
Thanks, Justy. I love this picture too. Gotta love our matching bathing suits. Sisters rule
@Audrey: I am SO lucky to have you as a friend. You are one of the strongest, most focused and loving women I know. Thank goodness for Rawlings Hall … and to the angels in our corner. xoxo