I’m pretty fortunate that I haven’t had to deal with too many haters and critics in my biz. I mean, there have certainly been some people who have NOT liked my work and style, but for the most part people have been pretty respectful and kind-hearted.
But … there have been SOME mean-spirited comments, including recently when a Facebook “friend” couldn’t understand why I was putting my daughter in daycare (at my next door neighbor’s home daycare no less – the same place my 2 sons went when they were younger) rather than staying home with me full-time.
This “friend” went on to quote Dr. Laura about the tragedy of women who put their children in daycare. (No offense to Dr. Laura, but we speak different languages.)
There are a lot of tragedies in this world (including women hating on other women’s choices), but getting help with your children so you can spend part of your day creating a body of work that changes the world … well that’s not one of them.
I wonder if the vast majority of men who return to work after having children are made to feel guilty for not being with their children “full time” and returning to work to support their family? They often are praised and applauded for this choice.
Why the double standard?
One of my biz chick buddies said when she had a baby and shared she was getting a nanny she received a Facebook message from one of her fans saying they were so relieved she was getting a nanny instead of putting her baby in daycare because of all of the horrible things that happen in daycare.
My buddy was taken aback by the unsolicited opinion as she wasn’t looking for approval of a choice that was very personal …
If there’s one thing not to challenge me on, it’s a woman’s right to DESIGN her own life and CHOOSE her own path when it comes to work, family, home, EVERYTHING.
There is no “one size fits all.”
Although my business path has me in the public eye, I don’t believe in taking shit from anyone, especially on Facebook which aims to foster connection … and you don’t need to in your business or life either.
I share this with you because my tribe often asks me how to handle this “underbelly” of business fame as you start RISING UP and becoming more and more visible in your work.
Have you received rude comments on Facebook that you weren’t sure how to deal with? You know, the ones that totally took you off guard?
Let me give you a tip when it comes to dealing with mean-spirited critics on Facebook:
1. Unfriend them
2. Ban/block them from your personal profile or biz page
3. Delete the comment in question (dissolve the energy from your page)
The likelihood of changing a hater’s mind and making them see your point of view is pretty slim. It’s not worth the effort.
Now there are times, when I will write a response but my intention ALWAYS is to take the high road when I make my point … then I bless them, move on, and cut the energetic cord.
I’ve got too many amazing things to focus on to waste my time on trying to convert critics. I choose to invest my energy helping my tribe.
You need to realize that there are certain people who are in your TRIBE and certain people who aren’t. If you’re trying to please everyone, you’re screwed because your message will be totally watered down and boring.
Go ahead, piss some people off. Let them not understand you. Some of these people will get triggered by you and the way you live your life and run your business … and many of them will TELL YOU how much they don’t agree with you.
Why awesome? Because now you have an even CLEARER picture of who you’re here to help and who you’re not.
If you’re trying to help everyone, you’ll help no one.
Get specific with your niche.
Think 1-inch wide and 1-mile deep.
That’s your tribe.
Your tribe loves you.
Your tribe understands you.
Your tribe needs you.
And the best part? The feeling is mutual.
P.S. If you want some HELP and GUIDANCE as you build YOUR TRIBE, check out my new course TRIBE BUILDING BOOTCAMP. It’s time to reach more, make more, and play more.
Doors close Monday, September 22 at noon EST.