me+mom

My mom and I just had a pretty powerful visit together.

Us spending time together in this way – real, honest, loving – feels like a huge accomplishment.

We didn’t talk for the first half of 2015.

This was a very tough decision. I needed some space to heal and think and be.

When I posted this on Facebook a few days ago, someone asked me why I wasn’t talking to my mom earlier this year. My response: “Needed some space in our relationship to find a healthier way forward.

That’s the best way to describe it.

How did we find that healthier way forward?

In my case, a lot of self inquiry, therapy, forgiveness and letting go.

While attending Gabby Bernstein’s spectacular Kripalu retreat in August, I received the download during one of our meditations to invite my mom to my spiritual business retreat ALCHEMY Live (it would be her first time attending one of my events and truly seeing what I do).

Gabby B

A piece of this realization may have been due to me “randomly” sitting next to Gabby’s mother Susan during one of our sessions. I felt that motherly energy and missed my mom whose name is also Susan! I decided I wanted to reestablish a relationship while we still had the chance.

I listened to that Divine Download and texted my mom during the retreat and asked if she wanted to attend my event in October.

Her response: YES.

That support meant so much to me as I was moving to the next level in my work.

Leading a spiritual business is amazing and terrifying at times. It’s easy to feel “alone” as you make leaps, take risks and move forward.

To have the support of your parents, spouse, children and friends makes the road smoother.

This isn’t always possible, but know that patience is often required.

So back to my event …

ALCHEMY Live was epic. Not only did my mom Susan attend, but she was a speaker!

me+mom Q+A 2015

Yes, I interviewed her on stage about her life + career journey. She talked about how different it was for women growing up in the 40s, 50s and 60s (she was born in 1947). I learned a lot about her during our conversation!

Afterwards, so many people came up to her to say THANKS. (A few came up to me and said our conversation inspired them to heal their mother/daughter relationship and try again – wow).

My mom was shocked that my attendees were so grateful to hear her wisdom and story.

I told her: YOUR STORY MATTERS.

By witnessing my work, my mom now knows that my sister Julie (she passed away in 1994) works through me. She now sees this is a family business.

She gets it. And we are committed to getting each other, to seeing each other as people and not only “mom” or “daughter.”

To pull in extra help with this, I invited my mom to a session with my therapist the day after my retreat ended. The breakthrough that occurred in that room with my therapist holding SPACE for us was HUGE.

The little girl in me HAD A VOICE. The mother in her FINALLY HEARD what I was trying to say my entire life.

Tears.

Hugs.

Seeing each other.

Isn’t that what we all want?

To be seen.

Heard.

Felt.

Held.

The relationship with my mother hasn’t always been easy, but it IS worth it.

I’m sure there will be more bumps in the road, but that’s life. It’s not smooth sailing all the time.

And I can honestly say that I’m giving this relationship my best effort moving forward.

As a mother, I’m modeling this for my children so that they see how committed I am to love, forgiveness and staying OPEN.

Do you have a challenging relationship in your life? (Who doesn’t?!)

I GET IT.

I so get it.

What I’ve learned is this: the people in your life have something to teach you … just like you have something to teach them.

We are each others’ students and teachers.

Get help. Therapists, coaches, healers and guides are AMAZING supports.

Read empowering books.

Get your thoughts and feelings out.

Journal.

Stay open.

Stay faithful.

Do what you need to do. (Sometimes the healthiest way to move forward is to end a relationship with someone you love.)

Be who you really are.

Create healthy boundaries, but don’t let those boundaries rob you of the richness that is being IN RELATIONSHIP with all of its messiness and grace.

Moving to the next level in your business and life is IMPOSSIBLE without being IN relationship with A LOT of people.

Team members.

Partners.

Vendors.

Clients.

Students.

Customers.

Coaches.

Teachers.

Community.

Media.

Children.

Romantic partners.

Parents.

In-laws.

Siblings.

Extended Family.

Friends.

Critics.

Yourself.

My daughter Kate sporting a new nightgown, a gift from her Grandma who also sent matching jams to my sons.

My daughter Kate sporting a new nightgown, a gift from her Grandma who also sent matching jams to my sons. My mom is amazing at clothes shopping!

We can’t be Lone Rangers. And we don’t want to be.

Sending you LOVE as you navigate the relationships in your life.

May they offer you the opportunity to grow, heal, love and be loved.

How will you be IN RELATIONSHIP today?

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