I’m back from my 2-week journey through India.
I turned 40 last week.
Everything feels … different.
It’s hard to explain.
I saw things in India I’d never seen before.
Felt things I’d never felt before.
Ate food I’d never tasted before.
Bought a silk caftan I’m so excited to wear (OMG so pretty).
Wore bindis on my face.
Sweated my ass off.
I planned to write this post and record a podcast episode with this theme for a few months now. I even wrote a good part of it when I was in India and thought I’d finish the piece last week … but I simply didn’t have the space inside myself for it.
Self-care had gone to another level during my time in India … and I didn’t want to revert back to unhealthy habits of pushing myself too hard in a quest to prove myself to the world.
My theme during this cycle is WORTH, TRUTH + LETTING GO.
I’m honoring this even when it feels hard.
What are you ready to honor even though it may feel hard?
What new moves are you ready to make?
Questions to ponder today …
So now comes the time when I get to share what I wrote for you when I was in India. Some of you may wonder why I am so obsessed with India. My answer >> she speaks to my soul.
The book I read by Stanley Wolpert called “India” captures my feelings pretty well …
“Ah, India, who can fathom your depths or reconcile your complexities?”
She’s mysterious, beautiful, heartbreaking and oppressive.
Grand, dilapidated, simple and confusing.
She’s everything and nothing all at once.
And she set the stage for the ushering in of the next decade of my life and the next level of my teachings.
Here’s what I wrote on the evening of the FULL MOON (May 10, 2017) in INDIA about India, Sobriety + Turning 40.
Soak it up …
Full moon fever.
I sit here under the Buddha Moon, glowing from above.
What is the message from mother moon?
What magic does she shine on me?
I came to India to get a deeper understanding of who I am and why I’m here.
This trip coincides with 2 important moments in my life:
- 2-year sobriety anniversary
- 40th birthday
I’ve learned a number of lessons in my 40 years … and many important truths in the 2 years since I’ve let go of alcohol.
If you would have told me in my teens or 20s that I’d one day let go of my party girl status by giving up drinking, I would have laughed in your face.
Alcohol was my friend, my crutch, my fast-track to fun.
But 2 years ago, I received a very clear message: release alcohol from my life and I will live a life beyond my wildest dreams.
I received this message from God.
It freaked me out with its clarity, but I trusted it and obeyed.
Honestly, maintaining this sobriety has been easy. I had already ran many years worth of experiments with me and drinking. I already knew where those experiments lead: nowhere worth going anymore.
This is not a knock on alcohol. If you can drink responsibly, go for it.
For me, alcohol was holding me back from being my best. Drinking was not a good use of my time.
Where do I like spending my time now?
Feeling my feelings.
Are you able to feel your feelings? Or are you prone to numb out?
If you numb, you’re not alone.
So much of the world is going through life comfortably numb.
But I want to tell you this >> you’re safe + welcome to feel.
You’re safe to make moves.
You’re safe to get out of your comfort zone.
You’re safe to stand out.
As I celebrate 40 years in this body, in this lifetime, what I know is that you don’t do anyone any favors by dimming your light or hiding your truth.
The more you speak up about what you want and know you can do, be and have … the more the vision in your head becomes real.
Don’t be attached to the timeline.
Trust the flow of life.
Trust the nudges.
Trust your intuition.
Trust the messages you receive from your Higher Power.
Many of these nudges will not make any logical sense.
You will feel scared.
Sometimes you’ll feel crazy.
Because the guidance you’ll receive will require a breaking away from the pack, from the crowd, from popular convention.
Many won’t understand why you’re making certain decisions.
Frankly, sometimes you won’t understand either.
But in your bones you’ll know.
And that sacred knowing will guide you down the mystical road of discovery.
Where the treasure is waiting to be found.
It may take longer than you think.
You’ll experience detours and twists and turns and highs and lows.
And sometimes you’ll feel overwhelmed.
And sometimes you’ll want to run away from it all and go back to what you left behind.
But then you get some rest and start again with a fresh mind and a full heart.
And that is what you’ll do over and over and over again as you walk in the glowing path towards your destiny.
I’m now going to share 7 lessons India taught me (plus some amazing photos). Listen to my podcast (click the link at the top of this post) to hear the stories that bring these lessons to life.
Vision = Reality
2. Your life is a prayer
3. Remember the mission
4. We’re more alike than we’re different
5. Touch + be touched
6. Heart for service
7. Be willing to get uncomfortable
This is Jenny Fenig sending you so much love, light + faith as you GET GUTSY. I’ll see you next time.