I saw the comment and my eyes did a double take (I’m thinking “seriously, would someone write what I think I just read?!”). I felt a blow to my solar plexus area – third chakra! – and it was unsettling. It felt like an attack. No bueno.

After quickly analyzing my options – ignore, wallow in shame, run from the presentation, or step up as a thought leader – I made my move.

I tackled the bully head-on by telling her very firmly she could leave. Her energy was not welcome in the sacred space we were creating. Then we immediately deleted the comment to dissolve the negative energy.

I used to fear things like this happening. Now that it has it feels like a huge rite of passage. I’m not afraid anymore.

I used the example as a teachable moment to the future coaches in attendance about ensuring an energetic match between client and coach. Boundaries are crucial. So is self-respect.

I have a zero-tolerance policy against cyber-bullying or disrespect. It’s so unnecessary and a complete waste of energy.

I shared this post originally on Facebook and was blown away by the responses!

Here’s a few screen captures of the two shares (one on my FB page + one on my FB profile!) with just SOME of the comments I received.

Thought it would be helpful for you to see the kind of conversation that occurs when we expose the “underbelly” of doing this work in the world.

Don’t be afraid because your people have your back!

I’m not sure what’s been happening in the planets, but I’ve been feeling some interesting energy in the air when it comes to aggressive communication.

You really have to protect yourself so you don’t take on that negative energy. It’s not easy, but it’s CRUCIAL.

Recently we had to release a student from one of our courses for violating the terms of our private student forum.

I’ve never had to do that before. But it had to be done. Although it was hard and this student threatened to leave nasty reviews about me if we didn’t let her back into the course, I knew we made the right decision instantly.

There was an immediate shift in the energy of the group. A major synchronicity was experienced by a few students that was simply beautiful to witness. A recalibration occurred. Everyone felt safer once the person who was NOT a fit for the course was removed.

Energy is EVERYTHING.

As I tell my clients and students, you MUST have boundaries, policies and procedures in your business. MUST, MUST, MUST.

This will be a HUGE FOCUS of our upcoming Get Gutsy Coach Training School.

As a coach ESPECIALLY, you must a LEADER around this idea of BOUNDARIES, respect and tough love.

It’s a fact that weird stuff will come up to be dealt with. This isn’t easy. But you know what makes it easier?

Having clear-cut policies!!!

Create them. Stick to them. Live by them.

Boundaries are beautiful.

Here’s a snippet of our policies from our private connection forum. This is sacred space for our students to learn, share and grow. This space has been consciously cultivated throughout my business journey. I guard it with MY LIFE.

A SACRED BOUNDARIES REMINDER:
• Treat everyone kindly + respectfully
• Give more than you take – help others brainstorm to grow your biz muscles
• Stay focused on the work

 

We live by The Golden Rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. We have a zero-tolerance policy for negativity, gossip or toxic energy. Remain respectful of other users, moderators, and administrators at all times. All posts should be professional and courteous. You have the right to disagree with your fellow forum members and explain your perspective. However, any posts or communications that attack, degrade, insult, or otherwise belittle another poster or the quality of this community are not welcome in the forum.

 

While I don’t believe in dwelling on negativity (I’ve got better things to do and people to help!), it is important to shine a light on the cyber-bullying that is happening way TOO much to adults – let alone children!

Roar!! The mama bear in me comes out in full force when I see meanies throwing their garbage at people.

We’re all responsible for our own stuff. Deal with it! Don’t throw your insecurities or jealousy on anyone. There are plenty of healers and therapists out there READY to help those who are open to get healthy.

The thing that really pisses me off is that the fear of getting attacked holds many women back from sharing their message and doing their work in the world!

I knew this in my heart and it was validated on my Facebook post by one of my tribe members.

I just LOVE how the amazing women in my community rallied around her and told her NOT to be afraid.

Check out this thread!

Want to know what’s really cool when peeps criticize you?

You know instantly that they are NOT your ideal clients.

NOT, NOT, NOT.

Buh-bye.

Check out how I responded to this gal Yvonne who was awesome enough to tell me what turned her off about me: MY VOICE.

You know how hard I’ve worked to find my voice and get the courage to use it?

Damn hard!

So do you think I’m going to let the Yvonnes of the world shut me up?

No.

(And PS, “Valley Girl” was one of my FAVE movies from the 80s. Like, totally, far out! Thanks for the compliment Yvonne!)

Don’t let the meanies of the world keep you down.

They are just sad people. And they want you to be sad with them.

No thanks.

You’ve got a calling to fulfill.

A life to live.

People to help.

Adventures to be had.

Love to give.

Stay on your path and put your blinders on to anyone who can’t support you. Critics are just NOISE.

Let’s all embody Joan of Arc and say this following …

You’ve got this.